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Song Parodies -> "Ann Coulter; An Unreasonable, Shrill Bitch"

Original Song Title:

"Season of the Witch"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Ann Coulter; An Unreasonable, Shrill Bitch"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Been meaning to deal with Ann Coulter...4th of July seems and apt time to do so...OH...yeah, I really like this old Donovan song from the 60's...
[instrumental intro]

Channel surfing this evening
Nothing int'rests me
See this blonde chick; quite skinny
She's slurring many people with glee
She seems strange - deranged
I sit there staring at this bitch
Her tone is strident and high-pitched
Built like a broom-stick of a witch
Ann is
An unreasonable, shrill bitch
A strange and deranged crazy bitch, yeah
I hear this garbage makes her rich

When I listen to Ann Coulter
I find myself quite peeved
I lay stretched back on my sofa
Sad sigh I do heave
Ann is strange
She's sure strange
A crazy, strange-assed, silly bitch
Delivering slander with no hitch
Insane, shrill lunatic's now rich
You know
No way to reason with that bitch
You cannot reason with that bitch, no
She's in a very prof'table niche

[instrumental break]

Nonsense emitting from that bitch
Has skinny ass and shows her tits
Her nasty spewing's made her rich
How so?
Some folks are pleased by this rude witch
Some folks believe the crap she spits
Or try to look up her dress slit

I don't know...

[brief instrumental]

Watching; resentment does grow
She sure does annoy me
Man, that nasty witch is thin, though
Turning sideways; bitch can't be seen
She's deranged
Ann won't change
Don't folks get tired of her schtick?
The ven'mous slander she does pitch
Outrageous lies; flat-out bull-shit
Who knows?
Why people watch this crazy bitch
Insane and nasty; she's the pits, yeah
Maybe they watch to see her tits

Must be so...

Think that's so...

[instrumental out to end]

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ravyn Rant - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Not an easy song to parody - I'm impressed. Lots of good lines and slams, but I think my favorite is "built like the broomstick of a witch". 555
Paul Robinson - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Ravyn - hmmm...looks like I touched a couple nerves with this one...Ann Coulter fans? Or, hey...maybe ANN so, she should keep an eye out for more later this's a 'Grateful Dead' fan, you know...
alvin rhodes - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
i hope her ears are burning...nice bit o'bashin'
Paul Robinson - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin...
Lionel Mertens - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
I don't think she likes the taste of her own medicine. 5's
Michael Pacholek - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
On behalf of "The Witches of East Brunswick," I say THANK YOU! Turns out only two of the "New Jersey Four" are from E.B., but since when does a right-winger, especially Ann, let the truth get in the way of a political stance?
Paul Robinson - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, Lionel...I think it's a pretty sure bet that she doesn't...considering how much bile much be present in that brand. MP - You are quite welcome...stop back tomorrow for more in this vein...I know you are of the East Coast, but are you NY or NJ? (Or neither?) You know, I've noticed that I've neglected some of folks on that end of the spectrum that really need and deserve their own piece...I did Rumsfeld recently...I wrote one for Condi, but didn't post because I figured no one would know the OS...maybe that needs to go up, anyway...I think I posted a piece or two or three for Cheney...I've got one sitting around for Bill O'Reilly...yeah, there's enough to go around, I guess...anyway, it's something for me to consider.
MrMacphisto - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice job, Paul! Great parody... although after noticing the 1's, it's surprising that even conservatives would like this bitch. You would think her defense of McCarthy would embarass them, but I guess some people have no shame....
Paul Robinson - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
Macphisto, Thanks! More to come tomorrow, too...I hadn't planned on writing two for Coulter, but they just fell into place...guess my muse is tired of her crap, too...Yeah, those "1's" popped up almost right off the's hard to imagine folks jumping onto Annie's slick & skinny wagon - after all, it's not like supporting her would make anyone good enough for her, anyway. Hey, maybe they just don't like THAT I understand...if not necessarily
Stuart McArthur - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
As I was reading it, I could see you typing it with increasing energy and glee, paul - those exorcising parodies are the most fun to write aren't they? - you feel clean afterwards - top stuff - 555
Red Ant - July 05, 2006 - Report this comment
I doubt the 1s people rated so due to liking Ann Coulter, they probably did so for a few "naughty" words you didn't self censor. Not that I care, but some people, well... Anyway, while I generally avoid political parodies like the plague, I found this one pretty good, Paul. I took a quiz a while back that had 20 quotes in it; the objective was to correctly pick whether they came from Ann Coulter or Adolph Hitler. I got 6 right. After all, they were similarly crazy statements, so it was hard to tell who said what. Hitler was a meth user and possibly had stage 4 syphillis. What's Ann's excuse? BTW, she might have looked good 15-20 years ago, but now, yeesh!. That woman is so cold that fornicating with her could be considered necrophilia. Oh yeah, good parody. 5s
Paul Robinson - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, know, the "language" issue on this piece, well, it doesn't resonate at all with me. I certainly "self-censor" myself more these days than I did a couple years ago, but as far as Ann Coulter goes - hey, SHE'S the one using her T & A to "push product", not me. As far as I know nobody is holding a gun to her skinny ass and saying, "Ann, you need to show a lot of 'T & A' or your slanderous, dumb-assed, lie-packed piece-of-crap book won't sell a million copies" or whatever. She puts 'it' out there to sell - and sell she does. Not jumping all over you, I appreciate the "tap on the shoulder". Actually, I kind of figured it was just as likely someone with a bad case of "blue-nose" smiting me with "one's" for being "naughty" with my know what, though? It's been a long time since I was in school....and it's been just about that long since that type of "lesson" cured me of anything. If someone's got an issue with my choice of words they oughta put it in a freaking comment so I can answer them...and I will, one way or the other. You really don't have to go too far to get an answer out of me if you have a question. Actually, I can be surprisingly polite to honest inquiries about my topics and the word choices I use to address them. Believe it or not I actually do have something of a personal code, although I will admit that at any given moment I am subject to toss it overboard and say whatever I want. Sometimes to my detriment and regret, but that's how it goes...we live with our choices all the time, so it's just one more to recognize in a very long line. That said, to me "One's" are just so much 'anonymouse' (Intentional sp) clucking from the feeble-of-expression who cannot muster adequate words or gumption to outright tell me why they have a problem or disagree with me. I can't respect it or disrespect it because it's a 'mute' protest. OK...someone doesn't like my piece for some unexplained reason. what? my totallly over-the-top read-out of "anonymouse one's voter's"...and back to your note...Yes, I came across the "Ann/Adolf" Quiz myself a week or so ago...think I got about 10 or 11, but I've been around a lot longer, so some of the "Adolf" quotes were kind of like "gimmees" to me. I think I recognized a couple "Ann" spews and then the rest I got right were just plan "50-50" guesses. Like your comments about AC's desirability...they cracked me FYI - think my next "Ann Coulter" piece is much more dainty, language-wise....but, then, what do I really know about that, right? Thanks for putting up with this outrageously long comment...I'm really glad you raised the subject, it gave me an excellent opportunity to lay out my position, if anyone gave a fat rat's....uh...'patootie"....boy, that was almost one of those words again, ya
Red Ant - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, it's not that you can't say what you want. In my own analysis of possible reasons why 1 votes are given, I've determined that cursing isn't the problem, but uncensored cursing may be. I know you shouldn't have to censor "shit", but typed "sh*t", "$hit", or even "sh!t" seems to avoid those meaningless unobombs. To me, "bitch" and "b!tch" mean the exact same thing, sound identical when said aloud (unless you say the latter as "b - exclamation mark -itch", which is wholly stupid), and are both acceptable, though "b*tch" is more acceptable to those who are sheltered or easily offended.

Or, I could be way off. There might actually be two people on the planet who like Ann Coulter.
poomaster - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Paul Robinson - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Red...I agree...and for the most part lately I have taken the time to replace my original "shit" with "sh*t"...but SOMETIMES...and here's where those "personal standards" come in...SOMETIMES you feel it's integral to the piece not to pull any punches you don't...Now, to say "shit" over and over and over again is just silly and stupid - not to mention extremely juvenile...but if you use it ONCE...when you REALLY mean it, then, to me anyway, it fits. Of course, not every piece I write that says the word "shit" once fits into this convention for me. Sometimes "shit" is just "sh*t", you know. Thanks for the opportunity for me to here ~ ~ ~ poomaster - I swear, I've not killed any "Liberal Babies" in months...trying to stick with "Conservative" ones these days ~ ~ ~
Michael Pacholek - July 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Took the quiz. Got 9 of 14 right. Correctly thought the use of "bourgoisie" meant Hitler. Incorrectly thought the use of the word "America" necessarily meant Coulter! Anyway, Paul, here in East Brunswick, New Jersey, we lost 8 people on 9/11, compared to 21 in all the nation's wars, 14 of them in of World War II, including three pairs of brothers. (Then again, prior to that war, the town's population was only about 5,000, whereas by the time our 3 flag-draped coffins came back from Vietnam, it was 34,000, and it's now 46,000.) Like I said when I wrote "Bomber Ann," it's bad enough that Coulter still goes after my ideology, but when she goes after my home town, that tears it!
Paul Robinson - July 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Didn't know some of those ladies were from your chunk of the concrete, MP - I hope the whole town is behind them. This particular Coulter episode really went beyond the pale in my I said in my "other" Coulter piece from today, what she said about the "Terror Widows" was really the mouthing of someone who is just about to come unwound...and that's the only possible tiny-partial excuse anyone could have for what she said. But, really - when I take a moment to consider Coulter all I can come up with is a total narcissist - everything is about her...everybody else is just some game token for her to use/abuse as fodder for her twisted little publicity/cash cravings.
Tim Hall - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Great juxtaposition of a classic Donovan tune and a classic idiot

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