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Song Parodies -> "Dumbledore's Gay?"

Original Song Title:

"Runaround Sue"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Dumbledore's Gay?"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Have to admit that I don't really understand why JK Rowling felt she had to point out that her 150-year-old leading wizard is gay... no wonder they asked Sir Ian McKellern to play him when Richard Harris died :-)

If you want to listen, there's a recording at soundclick, and a video on youtube
Here's a story, sad: it's true
About the head of Hogwarts school
JK Rowling announced - to a cheer
She said.. Dumbledore is queer

Ah, don't understand why this news was a hit
'Cause to be honest, well, I don't give a shit
I mean, he never has sex anyway
so what's the point sayin' Dumbledore's gay?

His inclinations are none of our biz
I think of him as an asexual wiz
It isn't that I think it isn't OK
But I don't care if-a Dumbledore's gay

Just think: he hasn't gone
And hit on Harry or Ron
I mean, if he was straight
[Still] won't ask Hermi'ne for a date

But there's somebody at Hogwarts - can you guess who I mean?
Who is a-batting for the other-a team
It's obvious, if you think for a while
It's Malfoy.. but he's in denial

This you can count upon
That he fancies Harry and Ron
Picks up Crabbes and Goyles.. Surprise!
Draco... goes round with other guys

Unless you're into Dobby and a-playin' with your elf
Your sexuality, just keep to yourself
If I ever see her, I'll tell her: "JK,
WE DON'T CARE that-a Dumbledore's gay"

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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Matthias - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
What's wrong with Hermonie? I had a crush on Emma Watson ever since she hit puberty... (I'll admit that sounds wrong, but she's hot). As for Draco. We all know that's true. I mean if he was any more flamboyant than he is in the movies he would be the one in the closet under the stairs, not Harry.
Agrimorfee - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Matthias--google 'emma watson legal age clock'. (my wife has a thing for Daniel Radcliffe, anyway...) 555 for Phil, great tune, takes the stand and twists it further by throwing Draco in the mix (I have my own theories about Snape, quite frankly).
Jack Wilson - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
This was awesome. Maybe they should have Sir Ian in the last 2 now LOL
Below Average Dave ( - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
"It's Malfoy.. but he's in denial", you picked up on that too? Anyhow, good job. I agree with the overall meaning of this parody. . .Being gay or straight or bi or whatever isn't who one is, so who cares who is gay or straight etc. . .It's not among my 'friend' criteria or anything else either. . .liked this one.
MasonR - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
"playin' with your elf" cracked me up!
Guy - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Phil - "I think of him as an asexual wiz " Best line I think. heh heh. The way I see it besides asexual there are three basic kinds of sexuality. There is the bi-sexual - one who pays for sex. The homo-sexual - one who has his/her sex at home and then the tri-sexual - This type will try anything. Sexy parody to a sexy tune. 5 three dollar bills for this one.
Phil Alexander - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
:-D Thanks, all.
Ag - I tried that google search, but I think I must have left out an "l", given the results that came up... also have a Snape verse, but it didn't make the cut (and in order to get the rhyme, I was accusing Dumbledore of something really rather improbable)
Dave - I did wonder about keeping the Malfoy bits in, 'cause to be honest even if it were true, I don't really care. But it was too funny to leave out (IMO)
Mason - when I play with my elf, it cracks me up, too
Guy - a bit like as you age, going from tri-weekly to try weakly.
Kristof Robertson - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Hee! What was JK thinking? Unnecessary revelation that smacks of courting controversy for additional publicity. This was a great write, Phil, and the recording, although lo-fi, was an added bonus. 555
TJC - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
This was fantabulous, Phil... many great lines and a sly match with the OS
alvin - November 02, 2007 - Report this comment
gay ?...he didn't even look HAPPY
stuart mcarthur - November 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Whoa!! That's a big statement to make about Malfoy, Phil!!

btw, who's Malfoy?
(nod to Maxwell Smart)

although I'm clueless on HP, I picked up the gist of this - Dumbledore is the wise old man, right? - and I loved the way you make your point (and maybe Dumbledore does too...) - 555
Phil Alexander - November 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Kristof - quite possibly just for the publicity... like, she really needs it, right?
TJC - Thanks
Alvin - :-D
Stu - well, Malfoy's just zis guy, you know? (And I doubt Dumbledore does... Harry Potter's fiction, although there are those who don't seem to realize this)
Michael Pacholek - November 05, 2007 - Report this comment
I guess this means somebody's gotta write a "Draco is gay" parody. Somebody more familiar with the Potter mythos than I am. (The only Potter mythos I'm familiar with is the MASH Colonel.)
Chris Wolvie - November 07, 2007 - Report this comment
FRICKIN' SWEET! Dunno why JK decided to let that out. I thought Hogwarts was under a "don't ask, don't spell" rule. Well, anyways, funny as all hell! 5s...out of 5!
Phil Alexander - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Michael - Thanks, but I'll leave that to someone who gives a s... ;-)
Chris - I don't know, either. Seems a bit pointless to me, too.

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