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Song Parodies -> "There's No Plan Two"

Original Song Title:

"Me Ol' Bamboo"

Original Performer:

Dick van Dyke

Parody Song Title:

"There's No Plan Two"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I heard someone on the radio talking about there being "No plan two".. can't remember what he was talking about, but the phrase rather stuck in my head, in a rather Corporal Jones sort of way (a Dad's Army reference that our American friends may miss. Their loss :-) ).
It's sensible having a backup plan
If someone makes a gaffe.
And you know it's gonna happen, 'cause
You just can't get the staff

So there's no plan to hit the fan
No need for option B?
But what to do if there's no plan two
You end up up ***t creek

Plan 1 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - Hey!

There's no plan two, there's no plan two
You haven't got a paddle and there's no plan two
When it goes tits up, then you're really screwed
If you're in a bit of bother and there's no plan two

The politicians wielding power
May raise a merry stink
Their cock-ups pop up by the hour
They rarely stop to think

And when press race to get on their case
They'll always watch their rear. (Right!)
That's hard to do when you're in doo-doo
All the way up to here!

Plan 2? 3? No!

There's no plan two, there's no plan two
A terrible palaver 'cause there's no plan two
There's no backup, dunno what to do
One thing after another 'cause there's no plan two

(What to do, eh?)

A flyer in an air-e-o-plane
Has loads of backup plans (He does?)
If *nearly* all his engines fail
He usually lands (That's right!)

So all defects get a double-check
Before the airplane files (Yep!)
But if we flew with-a no plan two
Then everybody dies

A Plan 2 - phew!

With no plan two, with no plan two
Some people never bother with the ol' plan two
When it's belly-up then they're in the poo
So it's sensible figure out an ol' plan two

(Planning break)

Plan 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - HEY!
With a plan 2 - 3 - 4 - and a 5 and a 6 and a 7 NO!

There's no plan two, there's no plan two
It's time we started panicking there's no plan two
'Cause it's pear-shaped now, and you're royally screwed
So Panic! Captain Mainwaring there's
No
Plan
Twooooooo

You're in a bit of bother when there's no plan two

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