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Song Parodies -> "Rotten Films (The Uwe Boll Song)"

Original Song Title:

"Wooden Ships"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Crosby, Stills, & Nash

Parody Song Title:

"Rotten Films (The Uwe Boll Song)"

Parody Written by:

Freddy Flame

The Lyrics

Think of House Of The Dead...now, Alone In The Dark...now, Bloodrayne. Pretty bad films, weren't they? Now, would you believe that those films were directed by the same guy? It's true. Read this for more.
Why'd you'd like his films,
I can't understand.
Cause this is something everybody, everywhere hates with a
Great passion.

You can see by the ads, my friend,
His films are just no good.
There's just one thing I've got to say. Will you let me, please?
F*ck Uwe.

Say, would you say that he's a modern Ed Wood?
Yes, he making films for twelve or thirteen years now.
Hasn't made one good.
Prob'ly should skin him alive.

Rotten films, Uwe Boll's making. Very bad and cheesy.
Cheesy? That's not the way it's supposed to be.
Video game, he's remaking? Let them be.
Making us very mad and queasy.

Boredom grips us as we watch Bloodrayne.
All we can do is cry out in angry pain.
To like this is to lack a brain.
We are leaving. We don't like this.

Please, take some advice and save your bread.
Stay far away from House Of The Dead.
Far away, watch some TV instead.
You'll be heaving if you see this.

His films are real bad.
Blow-my-brains-out-if-I-see-just-one-more-frame bad.
He should pack his bags and go.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Gamer - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
It doesn't help, either, that these are all movies made from video games. As Nathan Shumate of Cold Fusion Video pointed out, making movies from these games is like trying to make a movie about a football game; not about the football players, mind (they might actually be leading at least mildly interesting lives on and off the field) but about the game itself. Theoretically, it might be possible to make a good movie from a video game even so, if the scriptwriters and director chose a readily adaptable game and were able to extrapolate from any existing game story to the characters' lives beyond what's shown of them in the game. Uwe Boll, however, certainly has no talent for doing either of these things.
Paul Robinson - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Not acquainted with the games or the movies really, but I know the OS...pretty good job, actually - I can take your word for the "Bad Movie" part...I've already seen enough really lousy "Horror" movies to hold me for the rest of my life.
John Barry - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
What Paul said.

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