Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Beat Your Children"

Original Song Title:

"Teach Your Children"

Original Performer:

Crosby Stills And Nash

Parody Song Title:

"Beat Your Children"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

you...who have spawned a load
must have a code
that they all live by
when you...become incensed
don't get all tense
just let your fists fly

beat...your children well
their father's belt
makes them go "oh my "
they'll heed...you need not scream
they don't want licks
when papa goes by

don't you fret that they may die
when you let that buckle fly
when they misbehave, just cry
"i'm gonna club you"

and they'll....have tender rears
poor little dears
see how the blood flies
they'll be...respectful youths
you'll get the truth
and there'll be no lies

beat...your children well
and give them hell
don't be a good guy
you need...to let off steam
you wanna kick ?
just let that foot fly

don't you fret that they may die
when you let that buckle fly
when they misbehave, just cry
"i'm gonna club you"

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 3
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 2
 
 5   15
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick D - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
And people told me mine was disturbing. Who's your kid, Kenny? http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/crosbystillsnash4.shtml
Paul Robinson - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Spare the rod, spoil the child I always say...Well...actually, I NEVER say that, because it's kind of sick, really. But this is a very good parody. 5's...BTW - my late brother, David, came up with the same idea about, oh...34 years ago, he had the same opening line, but the rest of it was different. Good thing, if you channeled him it would probably harm you...might be fun, though...
Rick C - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
you're a sick and funny man, ar........5s
Red Ant - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
I whipped this parody's ass 15 times.
AFW - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS...but seems in good cadence...dark humor,very well done... I'm sure it's tongue in cheek....like that old sayin' goes, "Spare the rod, and you'll need a ring job.."
Arwen - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought this was HILARIOUS, Alvin!!!
SheDuke - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
This was soooo good!! I love it so much. I cant wait to see some more of your work.
alvin rhodes - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks rick paul rick red ant AFW arwen and sheduke
MrMacphisto - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
LMAO... as performed by Cruelty, Kills, & Bash
sexy gay boy - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
ummmmm not 2 funny... but kinda good rythm... u get a c-
Chuck A. Spear - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
This was funny.....but also good practical advice. Maybe if people would heed it, we wouldn't have kids shooting up schools and dressing like whores and being such A-holes! ("How many times have i told you not to act like an asshole?! [slap]). 15 rears up, for you!
Peregrin - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Alvin, another one I will now shelve! And to think, I was always too concerned what the content should be hee hee, I needn't have worried!
alvin rhodes - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks mr macphisto sexy gay boy chuck and peregrin
2Eagle - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
What is your IQ?

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/crosbystillsandnash1.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1520