Ate a big meal in the city,
From the vending trucks couldn't stay away,
Other weird foods he was eatin'
Bowels were all messed up by late

(Chorus)
Stomach keeps on turnin'
Sad Harry keeps on hurtin'
Strainin', strainin', strainin' on the toilet

Blame it on the design of the toilet,
Sitting up straight is not a proper means,
Squatting is the way for best sh-tting
Knees to abdomens like with Asian machines!

(Chorus)

Strainin', strainin', strainin' on the toilet

Forget the stool softeners,
Milk products you'll have to forgive
Opioid drug constipation honey,
It's not so much the way that we choose to live

Toilet posture, makes it hard to sh-t

(Chorus)

Strainin', strainin', strainin' on the toilet
Strainin', strainin', strainin' on the toilet
Strainin', strainin', strainin' on the toilet

Try squatting or you'll blow a blood vessel!