Well, come on all of you, big young men,
Republicans need your help again.
Got themselves in a terrible jam
Way over yonder in Afghanistan
Put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And it's one, two, three,
Who are we fighting for?
Don't ask em, they don't give a damn,
Next stop? Afghanistan!
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Bush ain't doin' time...I wonder why,
Whoopee! they're all gonna lie.

Hey Haliburton, don't be slow,
Why man, this is war to-go-go
There's plenty more money to be made
Supplying the Army with the tools of the trade,
Just hope and pray they don't drop the bomb,
Drop it on the Talibahn.

And it's one, two, three,
Who are we fighting for?
Don't ask em, they don't give a damn,
Next stop? Afghanistan.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Bush ain't doin' time, I wonder why
Whoopee! they're all gonna lie.

Hey, General Petraeus, let's move fast;
Your best chance has come and past.
You never did get those towel-heads
and the only good Muslim is the one that's dead
And you know this war can never be won
So you might as well turn & run.

And it's one, two, three,
Who are we fighting for ?
Don't ask em, they don't give a damn,
Next stop....Afghanistan.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Bush ain't doin' time, I wonder why
Whoopee! they're all gonna lie.

Come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your kids off to Afghanistan.
Come on fathers, don't hesitate
Send your sons off before it's too late.
Be the first ones on your block
To have your child come home in a box.

One, two, three
Who are we fighting for?
Don't ask us, we don't give a damn,
Next stop...Afghanistan
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Bush ain't doin' time, I wonder why,
Whoopee! they're all gonna lie.