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Song Parodies -> "All Over Th' Mount'n"
Original Song Title:
"Wolverton Mountain"
Original Performer:
Claude King
Parody Song Title:
"All Over Th' Mount'n"
Parody Written by:
Stan Hall
The Lyrics
The one-hundred percent untrue backstory of this parody involves a conversation I had with an odd fellow who called himself “Pappy” while dining one wintry evening at a Waffle House in the Ozark foothills just before continuing up into the mountains in search of a legendary local beauty – “Sadie”-something -- about whom I’d heard back in the city.
They say thar’s snow
all over th’ mount’n
and it’s lookin’
purty white.
Cain’t wait fer plow, Sir?
Well, Ah reckon ya ought’a –
it’s mighty handy …
winter’s come t’ th’ heights.
Yer chains won’t grip
until when it’s sunny,
snow’s off’a the mount’n.
Ye’ll wreck yer car!
Yer tars’re gonna turn ’n’
they’ll slip. Fer hours
ye’ll remain thar,
raht whar ya are.
Stalled cars Ah seen …
all over th’ mount’n …
’twere a dautin’,
pure awful sight.
Don’t take no chance, Sir,
in drivin’ thet mount’n …
’tain’t jes’ snow showers
up thar t’night.
Yer chains won’t grip
ain’t gonna be funny.
Keep offa thet mount’n.
Ye’ll wreck yer car!
Yer tars’re gonna turn ’n’
they’ll slip. Fer hours
ye’ll remain thar,
raht whar ya are.
Still gonna go up
’n’ onta thet mount’n?
Ye’ll soon know, Son,
’roun’ here in snow
treads got no bite,
ye’ll slide. Y’oughta
come in summer,
then up ye’ll go.
Yer chains won’t grip
until when it’s sunny,
snow’s off’a the mount’n.
Ye’ll wreck yer car!
Yer tars’re gonna turn ’n’
they’ll slip. Fer hours
ye’ll remain thar,
raht whar ya are.
Ah know tars got no grippin’ power …
[Fade, repeating lines below]
Why ya wanna drive up onta thet mount’n?
Why ya wanna make that run? It’s trouble.
Why ya wanna drive up onta thet mount’n?
Why ya wanna make that run? It’s trouble.
all over th’ mount’n
and it’s lookin’
purty white.
Cain’t wait fer plow, Sir?
Well, Ah reckon ya ought’a –
it’s mighty handy …
winter’s come t’ th’ heights.
Yer chains won’t grip
until when it’s sunny,
snow’s off’a the mount’n.
Ye’ll wreck yer car!
Yer tars’re gonna turn ’n’
they’ll slip. Fer hours
ye’ll remain thar,
raht whar ya are.
Stalled cars Ah seen …
all over th’ mount’n …
’twere a dautin’,
pure awful sight.
Don’t take no chance, Sir,
in drivin’ thet mount’n …
’tain’t jes’ snow showers
up thar t’night.
Yer chains won’t grip
ain’t gonna be funny.
Keep offa thet mount’n.
Ye’ll wreck yer car!
Yer tars’re gonna turn ’n’
they’ll slip. Fer hours
ye’ll remain thar,
raht whar ya are.
Still gonna go up
’n’ onta thet mount’n?
Ye’ll soon know, Son,
’roun’ here in snow
treads got no bite,
ye’ll slide. Y’oughta
come in summer,
then up ye’ll go.
Yer chains won’t grip
until when it’s sunny,
snow’s off’a the mount’n.
Ye’ll wreck yer car!
Yer tars’re gonna turn ’n’
they’ll slip. Fer hours
ye’ll remain thar,
raht whar ya are.
Ah know tars got no grippin’ power …
[Fade, repeating lines below]
Why ya wanna drive up onta thet mount’n?
Why ya wanna make that run? It’s trouble.
Why ya wanna drive up onta thet mount’n?
Why ya wanna make that run? It’s trouble.
I thought this OS deserved a break from the seemingly de rigueur Brokeback Mountain spin and offer the foregoing with a preemptively apologetic tip o’ the Capp to any Arkansans the dialectal presentation may offend. ’Tis but a parody, a joke. My town own – D. C. – is often enough the butt of one, and anyway, one of my favorite presidents was a Natural Stater. :-)
AR is one of the few states I’ve not so far visited, but Davy Crockett is said to have said of it "If I could rest anywhere, it would be in Arkansas, where the men are of the real half-horse, half-alligator breed such as grows nowhere else on the face of the universal earth."
© Stan Hall 12/08/2008
AR is one of the few states I’ve not so far visited, but Davy Crockett is said to have said of it "If I could rest anywhere, it would be in Arkansas, where the men are of the real half-horse, half-alligator breed such as grows nowhere else on the face of the universal earth."
© Stan Hall 12/08/2008
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User Comments
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i've never had the experience of driving in snow ...doesn't sound like fun....but your parody was
Purty darned good.
This parody was very good, and I can say that I have had the experience of driving in snow, with numerous vehicles. The best one to drive in the snow was my mom's 1969 VW Squareback, which I learned to drive a stickshift on. Despite being a station wagon, the weight of the rear engine made it easier to drive in snow, and the two 50-pound bags of birdseed under the front hood compensated for the lack of a front engine. I'd rather not talk about the time that I drove a 1986 Ford Ranger in the snow and ended up in a drainage ditch with snow up to the hubs. 5s.
are sweeter than Honnnnney . . . . very good choice, Sir Stan, ~Mighty Duke 0'Halls~. This reminds me of traveling up to Tahoe with chains . . . through Reno & on to VirginiaCity.
Ah - brought back memories of Crazy Jim from the Ozarks who used to wander with his dog up and down Sepulveda Blvd...
Thanks, everyone.
Alvin, Andria, & TnederLips -- driving in/on snow really isn't difficult if you simply bear in mind the Newtonian laws of motion, with particular attention to the first and third. What's nasty is driving on ice, particularly invisible, so-called "black ice." In either case, but espcecially the latter, the biggest hazard is usually the yahoos in gigantic 4WD SUVs who forget Newton (or abandon'im to the "elitist egghead intellectuals who're just a buncha lib'ral jerks anyway) and drive as if all alone on the sort of endlessly straight, flat stretch one finds in say, inner Kansas. :-)
Alvin, Andria, & TnederLips -- driving in/on snow really isn't difficult if you simply bear in mind the Newtonian laws of motion, with particular attention to the first and third. What's nasty is driving on ice, particularly invisible, so-called "black ice." In either case, but espcecially the latter, the biggest hazard is usually the yahoos in gigantic 4WD SUVs who forget Newton (or abandon'im to the "elitist egghead intellectuals who're just a buncha lib'ral jerks anyway) and drive as if all alone on the sort of endlessly straight, flat stretch one finds in say, inner Kansas. :-)
I recall this great old C/W favorite...great job with dialects and very funny...
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