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Song Parodies -> "How Do You Deal With Patients With Dementia?"

Original Song Title:

"How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?"

Original Performer:

Cast of 'the Sound Of Music'

Parody Song Title:

"How Do You Deal With Patients With Dementia?"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I work in a hospital with a program to help protect patients who need a little extra looking after. We garb them in these deep purple gowns (got a song fragment out of that) so staff knows to keep an extra keen eye out for them. I like the color of them so much that I asked a nursing director how nutty would I have to act to get one. (our regular gowns are hideuos) She assured me that should I ever be a patient in her department, I wouldn't have to do a thing, there would be a stack of purple gowns wating for me. Especially after after I sang her this song.
They climb the walls and roam the halls
Quite blithely unaware
Their gown is open in the back,
Showing their derriere
And even if they noticed
They likely wouldn't care.
Dementia patients are no slaves to fashion!
Still we must preserve their dignity,
And protect their privacy...

How do you solve a problem like dementia
Patients who are prone to roam around?
How do you safeguard patients with dementia
Since it's against the law to tie them down?
We train our staff to keep a sharp eye on them
To make sure that they stay within thier bounds.
But when things have gang aglay
And they wander away.
How do you insure they're quickly found?
How do you say this patient has dementia?
Dress them up in this lovely purple gown!

Out of focus and confused
Disoriented, 'round they cruise.
Going places, doing things they ought not do.
Unpredictable as weather,
They don't have it all together.
Just who and where they are they have no clue.
To medication they're immune
'Specially during a full moon.
Just ask any night shifter, they'll say it's true.
They often hallucinate
And work themselves into a state.
Caring for them is a challenge, but we do.
How do you deal with patients with dementia?
Bear in mind there but for God's grace go you!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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John Barry - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Good conclusion. 5s
AFW - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well done, with humor, yet in good taste....
Michael Pacholek - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, a good way would've been to vote for Mondale, but I was only 14 at the time.
alvin rhodes - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
i forgot what i was gonna say...5s
PMS - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks all of you. AFW I'll have you know that my employer agreed with you and I now will be using this to educate some of the staff. I get to show up at department inservices clad in purple gown AND matching slippers to sing this.
Dee Range - August 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Runs in my family.Very sensitive take on a touchy subject. High 5's
Johnny D - August 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, some of them nuns thought Maria wasn't praying with a full rosary....
Michael Pacholek - August 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Way to draw a bead on that one, Johnny.
Giorgio Coniglio - July 25, 2014 - Report this comment
A few years late, but what Dee Range said is right

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