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Song Parodies -> "Universal Stick Jock"

Original Song Title:

"Universal Soldier"

Original Performer:

Buffy Sainte-Marie

Parody Song Title:

"Universal Stick Jock"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

"Stick Jock" is a Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) slur for someone who is interested only in fighting and disdains all other aspects of historical re-enactment and experimental archaeology. Usually they are hard drinkers and unpleasant characters as well.
He's two metr-es and five tall , weighs hundred-twelve kg
And he fights with swords and with spears
Although he's forty-five, he's acting seventeen
Been like that for twenty years -

He's European, Viking, or a Mongol or a Rus -
A Khazar or a Byzantine -
And he knows that there is much more else than banging with the sticks
He's always such an asinine

He's fighting with the sword and shield, he's fighting with the spear
He's fighting with the Florentine
He's fighting with two-handed sword and bangs the pole-arms too
And that's his idea of good time

He's fighting for the Drachenwald, he's fighting for An Tir
He's fighting for the West and for East -
He's fighting in the tourneys, he's looking for melee
He's looking for a drinking feast

But without him how would armour-makers win their daily bread
Without him who would buy the swords?
He's one who doesn't give a damn to music, heraldry
He's the one whom clothesmaking bores

He’s the Universal Stick Jock and he really needs to shame
He really should grow up and see -
There's more than just the fighting to have fun in SCA
Your white belt means nothing to me!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Patrick - May 04, 2009 - Report this comment
I'd rather fight with guns (blanks). Someone could get hurt with swords and sticks. Had a friend who lost part of a thumb in an SCA type event. Still bragging about it to this day. Shot himself with a blank pistol, too. Quite versatile.
Susanna Viljanen - May 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Patrick, that kind of guy would be a stick jock par excellence!
Patrick - May 06, 2009 - Report this comment
This friend also made his own clothing for Civil War. When someone saw him at an event and offered to buy his pants, he took them off and walked back to his tent in his underwear. He now owns the largest costume shop in Kansas City. I always liked the original song, but there is one line that nobody can agree on, and the printed texts I've seen don't make grammatical or historical sense. I think it should read "Without him how could Hitler have condemned "them" at Dachau?". The "Buffy Sainte-Marie Songbook" prints that line as "condemned him" which makes no sense at all.

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