Mediterranean Ramblin' Schmooze

Junkie is a head case
Shootin' up the heroin
I'm in a good place
Loungin' on a chaise-longue
A dude on the beach front
Wedge out, paid off
Says he's gettin' sunburn
Wants to take his kit off
Look out, kid, you're hittin' a skid
God knows when but you're flashin' me again
You better jump on the railway
Hook up with a new man
A rube in a wide-brimmed hat, with a felt pen
Wants eleven fentanyls, you only got ten...

Harry's got trench foot
Danglin' from a meat hook
Pullin' up a snake, but
The line snagged anyway
Harry nearly saved the day
Pickin' up without delay
Feelin' up the DA
Look out, kid, don't matter if you did
Walk on tightrope
Chasing a false hope
Better stay away from Joes
Wearing women's panty hose
Keep a long nose
And watch for rainfalls
You don't need a leather man
To know which way the whip goes

He's tall, she's small
Lookin' like a beach ball
Here it's gettin' hot as hell
With the towels sellin' well
This shop, that bar
His hut, her rail
Hire a navy yacht to sail
Look out, kid, you're hittin' a squid
With boozers, squealers, two-bit floozies
Hangin' round the dealers
Guy by the lido
Lookin' through a peephole
Two tokes or reefers
For the average breeder

Foghorn Leghorn
Busted over chick porn
Took the stand, got banned
Hot sea, hot sand
Holidaying just as planned
Diss her, diss him: skinflints
Buy a pair of shoe lifts
All the sleazy schmoozin'
Then they put you on the hit list
Look out, kid, they're flappin' a pig
Better jump on a mamba
Breed it with a panda
Then an anaconda
Or a fish called Wanda
You wanna stay afloat
Get a speedboat
The jump leads work
But the janitor was strangled