Song Parodies -> "My Bleak Stages"

Original Song Title:

"My Back Pages"

Original Performer:

"My Bleak Stages"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Getting old is kind of tough - ah, but I was so much younger then

Limbs inflamed, cried, spewing tears
So my thighs have tightened wraps
Flounced with ire, I’m lame and slowed
Bruised, with IKEA chairs for naps
So fleet, jumped ledges, years gone by
Proud and bleated loud
Ah, but I was so much younger then
I’m older than that now

Hair’s past reminisce, see pores
Big frown, bald pate I gleam
Guys, my wife gives flack and might
Joke ‘bout some mullet cream
No frantic hats in use past years
Elation, hair so brown
Ah, but I was so much younger then
I’m older than that now

Bluured places swarmed, incurred my wrath
I’m prone to disagree
With mesmerizing scrawl and pics
No patience, just can’t see
Renowned, I decreed no assist
My sight was right, so proud
Ah, but I was so much younger then
I’m older than that now

A belle who strained, expressive sung
Delirious I drool
Shouted out I’m listening
But with my hearing aids as tool
I guarantee all folks were heard
Back then, now heading south
Ah, but I was so much younger then
I’m older than that now

With some oldster pants, ashamed I stand
I pee on the togs, a breach
Searing hot, I cry, I’m numb, my enema
Might begin and splat my seat
No assistance then, I would poop and gloat
Scrutiny I spurned and vowed
Ah, but I was so much younger then
I’m older than that now

Yes, I’m scarred and marred, my mind forgets
Immobile, can’t reflect
Believed tree was a-winking
While it’s humping on my neck
Could be mad, I can’t find the words
I fear I’m bats, unsound
Ah, but I was so much younger then
I’m older than that now

Barely remembered to post this

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Patrick - January 15, 2015 - Report this comment

I'm getting there quickly myself. Hope I will still be able to piece the words together as well as you have here. Be assured your mind is as sharp as it ever was.

Leough - January 15, 2015 - Report this comment

Masterful use of wordplay to describe the downside of getting older! Especially liked the IKEA, mesmerizing and enema subs.

Meriadoc - January 17, 2015 - Report this comment

Loved how you used the reverse of the OS refrain. One of those "why didn't I think of that?" moments, ha ha. (I bet Dylan thinks of it a lot now).

Andy Primus - January 18, 2015 - Report this comment

Ditto what Patrick wrote. I hope I never end up like your verses 5 & 6.

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