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Song Parodies -> "Bank Balance Zero"

Original Song Title:

"Love Minus Zero"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Bank Balance Zero"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Long time readers have met her before.
My love prefers my silence
She speaks with hints of violence
She doesn't have to say she hates me
Yet she does to all, to me
Carries giant purses
She makes plans for all my money
Dollars scarce for wilted flowers
Common sense can't reach her

Garage sale and flea market
Car I bought she will park it
Buy books, plaque with quotation
Hangs some knick-knacks on the wall
Doesn't ask politely
Just demands "I need it"
She thinks success comes from believing
Life with her will mean no sex at all

Robes and beads and bangles
Half-burnt scented candles
At ceremonies and church service
Count on her to show up late
Statues made of matchsticks
She'll buy one and then another
My love drinks, she smokes la mota
She thinks happy thoughts control her fate

TV at midnight flickers
Won't let me in her knickers
Gave her gun for her protection
Expecting she might use it on herself
A never ending clamor
The house is old and leaky
My love depletes my savin'
Strained my back moving a broken shelf

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - September 25, 2014 - Report this comment
I guess you stick around because she hasn't yet demanded you get rid of yout guns!!! 555!!!
Rod W - September 27, 2014 - Report this comment
Had to go listen to the orig tune, didn't recogize the title. Dylan took such liberties with his cadence and phrasing at times. You did a great job! Loved the line 'Gave her gun for her protection, Expecting she might use it on herself'. 15 bullets ought to do it!
Patrick - September 29, 2014 - Report this comment
That's why I only gave her five. With Dylan, it's always hard to say whether or not you get the pacing right. I don't think you always have to match precisely to sound OK. My favorite version of this song is by Ricky Nelson. Most Dylan songs seem to work better when sung by someone else. Exceptions: "Like A Rolling Stone" and "A Hard Rain". No one else can cover those. "Love Minus Zero" is one of those enigmatic songs that sound like they mean something, even if they don't necessarily do.

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