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Song Parodies -> "Rhymes A-bleedin'"

Original Song Title:

"Chimes Of Freedom"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Rhymes A-bleedin'"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

In response to Patrick McWilliams' challenge, I present yet another attempt at parody suicide. Or you could call it an exercise in wishful thinking. Or if nothing else, it explains why I haven't been around for a while. Patrick, you sure have a thing for songs with irregular meter.

See Bob Dylan's website for the OS lyrics--note that for the seventh line of the third verse (or was that the second mother with the seventh son), I subbed to words sometimes sung at concerts (or was that out on Highway 61).
[The recent past]

Far beneath pun-dom’s bridges there lived sly croakin' trolls
A-chucking chyme abhorrent, chunder splashing
And the jesters felt the jolts slung madly by these hounds
Feeling the creepy slime of demons bashing
Bashing by these ogres whose stench befouled the writes
Bashing all the parodies with their junkyard loads of spite
And as almost ev’ry wonderful author left the site
Lo, we gazed upon the rhymes a-bleedin', gasping

As these gritty jealous urchins so aggressively wreaked shock
The greats were bitten, riled and mauled by sprite-lings
As the heckles from these wretches swelled, as scores were choked and maimed
The louts exuded smells that were fright'ning
Trolling horrid devils, trolling morbid wraiths
Trolling torpid buttheads with no handles one could trace
Trolling sordid house rats, hurlin’ quantum heaps of hate
And they preyed upon the rhymes with streams of trashing

Through the sad cryptic yammering of the vile dripping snails
The slime wracked the poets and made them slumber
And the zinging by the dirtballs caused bards we loved to flee
Leaving lonely skillful writers far outnumbered
Griping disrespectful, griping so unkind
Griping at the artisans and objecting to their rhymes
All these moaners and complainers farting slop from frightful hinds
Left us craving for the rhymes that leave one laughing

Slews of childish evil weasels left shameful scrabbled trails
Hordes of misformed graceless dorks with no ambition
Throwing orbs of dung and distasteful strings of snot
Left clowns a-shakin' from salvoes of munitions
Trolling mournful fetid minds, trolling scornful pukes
Trolling chortlin' depleted spaced-out buggers and some idle nincompoops
Floored the pissed and steaming authors, chafed and beaten by rebukes
As they hazed the songsters' rhymes with sprees of bashing

[The present]

Even though the proud site's hurtin' and the artists' scores have lapsed
And the chaotic shattered ship is prone to listing
Poetic rhymes still rush through marrow, tired butts forge some puns
The trend must shift to quell the twits persisting
Droll retorts just spur the scum and their heedless need to wail
And these loathsome farts will hover with their urge to see you fail
But these dweebs are harmless when ignored, disgraced when writes prevail
If we praise the songs and rhymes and cease the clashing

[A hopeful future]

Sorry, I've been laughing as I read all the recent songs
Laughs that could last for hours at the puns intended
And submissions from past times have me rocking on the floor
Held down and howling till the rolling's ended
Trolling force has faded now, the mood has been reversed
By the boundless unbruised, fun-fused, up tunes sung out unrehearsed
And when every long lost spoofer from the old times spews some verse
Then we'll gaze upon the rhymes with glee and clapping

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Venom de Plume - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
A tour de force about the troll 'holes and evil elves who've forced themselves onto and blighted a once-great site!
John Barry - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
Another masterpiece from the Dylan syllable-syncing master.
Patrick - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
I bet you could do "I Put A Spell On You" if you really tried. All I can say is "Wow". This is the kind of wordsmanship that used to be so common here. I tend to like songs that are a bit "different". I can't imagine anyone else, except, perhaps, the late, great Tommy Turtle, who could have carried this one off. Breaking from my usual practice, I have awarded 555 for this masterpiece. I hope it will be an inspiration. Last night I was watching a PBS documentary and a song lyric came to me. I will do my best to get it here. Thanks for responding to my challenge. By the way, have you heard "Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young"? Security code for this comment "LKD". I really LKD this one a lot. You have a way of using scatological verse to repudiate some of the dreck we have been burdened with.
Patrick - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
And, my challenge was only issued two days ago. Makes this achievement all the greater.
Phil Alexander - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but this is truly awesome. Fantastic job.
Patrick - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
Did you ever catch my tributes two two of your masterpieces?
Patrick - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
"And the chaotic, shattered ship is prone to listing". Looks like I caught another "Fitz" reference.
Leough - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks folks! I'll pass your comments on to my muse, who's the creative force behind anything I write. My role in the process is mostly handling the clerical chores.

I listened to "Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young" on YouTube and I have the lyrics. So now it's just a matter of when or if my muse is interested in pursuing it. I have no control over such matters. BTW, if you're serious about me doing a "Spell" parody, let me know. But with over 1,200 already done, it might be a bit of a challenge to come up with an original title switch/theme combination. I actually did post one (under my full name) a few years ago, using a Halloween-based theme. I'll take a look at the link that you provided
Patrick - February 28, 2014 - Report this comment
I really need to look up "I Put A Spell On You" on youtube. I've almost forgotten that it is, or was, an actual song, even if not a very good one. I've posted a couple of parodies referring to the phenomenon of IPASOY on AIR, along with a dozen or so "Spells" of my own. Personally, I go for cloning stories, or retellings of "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". Maybe I should go with "Big Freighter Sank With Crew". I see you did comment on my "Jay Hawkins" song. Someone commented "You got all that out of 'I Put A Spell On You"? Check this out: No hurry on "Tonight". I really admire your muse. If it's proper for one man to say that to another.
Dave W. - March 03, 2014 - Report this comment
Second to none...Zero for some..............

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