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Song Parodies -> "Salad Of A Gin Man"

Original Song Title:

"Ballad Of A Thin Man"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Salad Of A Gin Man"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Last week I tried the role reversal thing with the cooking, but that didn't seem to work out too well. So this week I figured maybe sharing the cooking chores might work out better:
You walk into the room
With some lentils and some ham
You don't know what she's bakin'
But she says, “Who gives a damn”
You fry some lard
And you both butter yams
Just what you’ll make
Is still unknown

Because someone is crackin' a beer
And you both know suds will fizz
New brew gits her stoned

Your faces turn red
And you gasp, “This milk's wearin' thin”
An ungodly voice intrudes and says
“It’s skim”
And you say, “What swine?”
An ungodly elf says, “There's mutton”
And you say, “Oh, I'm bombed
And my beer's full of foam”

Because someone is laughin' and jeers
And you both hold mugs of gin
Too stewed, blitzed or stoned

You're handed some pickles
And you go wash the leeks
You obediently chop up some roots
Then she shears two sheep
And says, “How come the veal
You cleaned up is streaked?”
And you say, “It's optional”
As she hands you a scone

Because someone is whacky and weird
And you both go up to whiz
Too boozed, ripped or stoned

You have many flapjacks
Upon the oven racks
To chew as snacks
If somethin' distracts your intoxication
But your honey has many regrets
Anyway she already suspects you
Would just make a wreck
Of flax, delectable carrots and organic raisins

Your gins get some refreshers
And they’re all iced and shook
Like great voyeurs you have
Displayed lecherous looks
Your beef's juice almost
Gets hot, it barely cooks
A very dull red
The smell's grown

Because someone is slappin' your rear
And you don’t go shut the fridge
Too looped, pissed or stoned

Well, the gourd's hollowed out, the pumpkin is, too
And then she reels
She tosses some kelp
And then she mixes dry eels
And without furtive motives
She asks you, "How's the meal?"
And you say, “Where is your coat rack?
I'm going home”

Because crumpets are tacky, you fear
And the goat shows tufts of friz
Too juiced, stiff or stoned

Now you see her drunk thighs fidget
Pouting, absurd vows
And you say, “You're just teasin'”
And she says, “Ow”
And you say, “Where's the whipped cream?”
And she steams back, “We’re just plowed"
Pret-ti-est milf
You've ever known

Because someone is crackin' a beer
And you both hope suds will fizz
New mood grips your stones

Well, you walk into her room
Light a Camel, then put it out
You soon surmise she's not rockin'
And your hope turns to doubt
Her naughty glee is gone
You sense you're doin’ without
Your moods degrade
To shared drear' tones

Because nothing is happening here
And you both know why that is
Food feud gits her zoned

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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Porfle Popnecker - May 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Never drink and cook!
Meriadoc - August 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Wow! And double wow! This parody was beautifully paced, stressed and matched and was hilarious. I suspect there was something more in that booze, though. TMGLTM, but I'll mention a few anyway:

Then she shears two sheep

And you say, “It's optional”
As she hands you a scone

And you say, “Where is your coat rack?
I'm going home”

And sometimes the funniest line is often the shortest:

It's skim

That one cracked me up. In fact the whole second verse was the best.
Derry - August 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Meriadoc, thanks for the nice comments! I find that telling an author what he/she did right is much more helpful towards future improvement than telling the author what he/she did wrong. As I get some time, I plan to check out some the work done by you and your partner.
Meriadoc - August 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Derry, It's been ages since I heard the OS, so I had to go dig up a copy to remember how it went. Your subs were just hilarious. I sent Pippin the link so he could take a look at it also. I see your catalogue so far is kind of small, but I hope you will be contributing often - your stuff seems very very good.
Derry - August 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Meriadoc, I did some other songs a little earlier as one of The AmIRighteous Brothers. It was a collaboration with my brother in real life, where we would challenge each other to produce a pair of songs with something in common and post them on the same day. We tried to syllable-match all of them, so it was a real challenge. You might want to have a look at those if you have time.

Thanks Again!
Peregrin - August 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Wow! That was as good as Merry suggested :) An opinion ventured:

Too stewed, blitzed or stoned

Too juiced, stiff or stoned

Too looped, pissed or stoned

I humbly suggest the word 'OR' is not applicable. All of the above! :)
Meriadoc - August 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Derry - I definitely will - thanks for the tip.
Derry - August 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin, I thought of that, but I rationalized the use of 'or' by convincing myself that each synonym of drunk I used was subtly different in meaning from the others, and therefore I could get away with using 'or'. (Actually, I used 'or' because, like many lyrics writers, I felt I could throw away the language usage rules book if I thought a higher purpose could be served by ignoring the rules - in this case, achieving the five-syllable near-rhymes.)

I don't know whether it was intentional or subconscious on your part or just a coincidence, but when I saw the three lines listed in your comment, I noticed an unforgivable gaffe - which was repeating 'stoned' as the end rhyme. I should have noticed that and corrected it before posting.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read, vote and comment on this.
Peregrin - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Ah! Ye thinks I am judging you too harshly! Not so! Sometimes the repeat use of a word cannot be avoided. It looks okay here.

My observations were simply regarding the message of the whole song. I was observing the subjects of the song were 'all' of the things I listed, that's what I meant when i said the word 'or' shouldn't be in there!
Derry - August 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for the clarification. I didn't mean to imply you were judging me too harshly - when it comes to writing these things, there's nobody who can judge me more harshly than I judge myself. One of the primary things I strive for is keeping things out of the parody that would distract the reader from simply enjoying it. I interpreted your comment, perhaps incorrectly, that I slipped up in achieving that goal on this one.

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