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Song Parodies -> "Tom *Testy* Turtle"

Original Song Title:

"John Wesley Harding"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Tom *Testy* Turtle"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Let the reunion tour begin...
Tom *Testy* Turtle
Used a pen for a sword
He rattled off the puns that made us laugh
All the throng on Chucky's site
They voted the friendliest scores
For he was never shown
In verse to spawn a gaffe

His boundless fame was mounting
His rhymes they awed the crowd
And his pacing mentor's guide
Was in demand
The noobs all wished he'd rate their fare
And call their names out loud
And he was always known
To mend the faults he scanned

All who crossed his *shell*ish path
In shame they did go down
'Cause no bard had his mental
Gifts so shrewd
And there was no ram around
With the knack to claim his crown
He was often prone
To mate the *cool*ish ewes

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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AFW - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
I like this, but it strikes me as being anti-climatic....sort of hits a brick wall and ends...On the other hand, and in your defense, I looked up the original lyric, and it does the same thing...must be Dylan's unpredictable style...maybe I'm too basic and old fashioned, but I prefer a beginning, a middle, and an end.....Also, the title, "John Wesley Harding"...was it supposed to be about John Wesley Hardin? if so, why the "g"?
Patrick - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
We all, or at least some of us miss Tommy and his footnotes. I don't think he's coming back except for an occasional visit. No one took the time like he did to critique one's technique. I bet he spent more time on my "American Pie" than I did to write it.
Porfle Popnecker - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
His critique of one of my parodies was only one word long! Is that good or bad? (Never mind, I don't want to know.) Nice parody!
Leo Keough - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys...

AFW: From what I heard, Dylan's adding the "g" to the end of Hardin was a sly joke related to the fact that prior to that song he almost always wrote words ending in ing as in'...He had lots of sly jokes that I appreciated. Like the line "I can't help it if I'm lucky" (Idiot Wind), which referred to the nickname Lucky given to him by someone who thought he was lucky to have made it big as a performer, considering the quality of his voice. Another of my favorites was the line "I only saw what they let me see" (Tryin' To Get To Heaven), which referred to Missouri being the Show Me state.

Patrick: One thing I always liked about TT was that if he commented on an author's song, it meant that he saw something positive about that author's work, even if he pointed out some flaws...TT was the one who recently proposed the "reunion tour" referenced above this parody...I share his longing to see the return of the many elite parodists who haven't posted in quite a while...I was hoping that doing this and the other tribute I posted today might help get that ball rolling.

Porfle: My opinion is that yours is one of the most impressive bodies of work to emerge recently here...The site needs parodist like you to thrive!
Porfle Popnecker - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Wow, I appreciate that and will try to live up to it.
Andria - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Great work, I appreciated TT's commentary and work, still talk to him off-site at times, and Patrick is correct as to his whereabouts. 5s.

So am I one of the parodists Leo mentions who haven't posted in a while? I've posted two parodies in the past month if so...
Leo Keough - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, Andria

Although I haven't been active submitting stuff, I still keep an eye on what's being posted, and sometimes vote and make comments using a humorous name - e.g. I was the play doctor who voted 555 on your Hurty GIRDy parody the other day.
Tom *Testy* Turtle, Part 1 of 2 - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
I still have a network of spies and moles here, mwahahahaha! :-D

DKTOS, alas (had same reaction as AFW), but your pacing is always spot-on. And why the pseudonym, Leo? (Don't want this one listed with your other works? sniff.... ) KIDDING! And with such lyrics, how could it be anything other than 555?

@ Patrick: I already have the OS and title switch planned for the next "Day The Music Died" tribute, for Feb. 3, 2013, if I and the site are both still here, so definitely then, if not before. (That's a Sunday, so would probably post on the preceding Friday, 2/1/13.)
      I received occasional snarkiness about the footnotes, and recently got a bunch of fudge from someone at 00s for no other reason than "I don't like you." ... Well, having never entered popularity contests, OK, whatever...

@ Porfle Popnecker: I didn't read very many of your works, as it seemed that you and R.A., Jr. were cozying up to each other, and the latter stated openly that he cares nothing for pacing; doesn't matter if a line is off by five or six syllables. We're judged partly by the company we keep, so if that was your role model, I figured it would be a waste of time.
      I made a few constructive suggestions to Rob when he first appeared, but they were completely ignored. Not to mention the cognitive dissonance of his complaints of terminal illness, 24/7 narcotics, 24/7 oxygen, internal organs being eaten away, etc. -- and that was almost a year ago, yet it seems he's still cranking them out prodigiously. End of that story.
      I did notice one parody of yours that I thought was sick, in the literal sense of sick (not funny) humor, and since everyone else was ooh-ing and aah-ing, I played the role of the kid who tells the Emperor that he's wearing no clothes, if you know that fable. Clearly, a minority opinion.

Leo is correct in general that critique implies perceiving an author as being worthy of spending some time and effort to explain what is being suggested and why. See Fiddlegirl's H. L. Gates parody,,
(which coincidentally was posted same day, same OS, same title switch, as moi's, )
and the high-level constructive criticism and suggestions to her. They were welcomed and well-received. End result: A team that became the third most prolific pair on the board, with 101 parodies to date.

In the current environment of auto-5 and auto-praise, it seems that no one else ever calls a glitch. I'm grateful for Michael P. for catching a bio error or two in last month's Feb 3 trib, but I don't think he ever saw my reply.

@ Andria: I appreciate that you appreciated it.

Tommy Turtle, Part 2 of 2 - March 08, 2012 - Report this comment
@ The Real Leo Keough: Ditto on occasionally commenting under punny names, though not very often lately. Overall, I do think the site quality has gone down, along with attention spans. For example, probably no one is still reading this comment. :-D

What else I've been doing, other than struggling to make a living in a continually-depressed environment: Making the Internet safer by doing tech support for a (free) browser security tool, and doing extensive pre-publication critique of the early drafts of a book by world-class cryptographer Bruce Schneier, which was just published last month:

"Liars and Outliers: Enabling the trust that society needs to survive."

... the philosophical and social underpinnings of how we developed trust and security models, from small bands of hunter-gatherers to modern mega-civilizations.
      Talk about critique? He wanted every previewer's brutally honest input, so he wrote 125,000 words of book, and my critiques, per chapter or whatever, in the end totaled 55,000 words. ;) Not all suggestions were accepted, of course, but a fair amount were.
      (I'm listed in the "Acknowledgments" in the back of the book, but rather than be listed as Tommy Turtle, I gave him a pseudonym instead. ;-D )

I still get about 4,000+ hits a month on the existing 435 songs, which is nice. I do miss the old days. ... If anyone wants to contact me, in case my mole network misses something LOL, or to do the reunion tour, etc., I do check "Latest comments" fairly regularly, so drop one anywhere.

Cheers all,
Porfle Popnecker - March 09, 2012 - Report this comment
@TT: It's fine if you don't like my stuff, but I must say I found some of your comments to me to be rather odd.
Leo Keough - March 09, 2012 - Report this comment
TT: Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule...As I explained on the other parody I posted Thursday, I scrunched my name down on these to solve a problem...I've been saving another song I've written to be posted as Leo Keough's 100th, but I'm waiting for the return of a bunch of my favorite authors before submitting that one...Since it doesn't appear that the reunion tour is getting off to a very good start, I may be posting stuff I write as Leough for quite a while.
Tommy Turtle - March 09, 2012 - Report this comment
@ Porfle Popnecker: Do you mean, at your songs, or in this thread? I'll be happy to explain or elaborate. If you'd rather that it be in private, get an account at inthe00s if you don't already have one, and you can PM me. Or click any of my songs posted in the past two or three years. Right after the copyright notice is one of those reCaptcha thingies that will give an e-mail address. Please keep that non-public -- I hate spam and spam-bots. ;)

@ Leo: Ahh, I see. I did special parodies at each multiple of 100, so of course I'd love to see your 100th. See above reply to PP. Contact as many as you can, and give us a heads-up before posting.
      Downside of using a different nick is that unless you accumulate 10+ under that nick. they become difficult to find. No "Author Page" listing, so someone would either have to be pointed to them, or find them in a search engine. As in these two (sorry for plugging, but illustrating the point):

"Fluorescents: Health Is Screwed (Get Congress' Hands Off Our Bulbs!)"
(yes, it's to "Spell". If you can't fight them... ;)

"Danger On The Site -- Automatic Fives"

That was an editorial on this same general topic. If I'd known that it would receive the favorable reception that it did, I'd have used TT, where it would be more visible. Just figured it would p*ss people off.

Anyway, check the 00s member list, and if there are old-timers that aren't there, I may have e-mail addresses for some. I would only forward, unless of course they gave me permission to give it to you.

I've been doing this with my rare postings and core following, letting them know when I'll be posting. If you'd like to be on that list, let me know how to contact you.

[soapbox] In addition to decline in quality and disappearance of top-notch writers, IMHO only, there's been a decline in the number of readers who appreciate the far-stretched puns, wide-ranging references, etc. that we old-timers love to use. Another reduction in incentive to post.
      If half the jokes go over someone's head, that's less fun. If you explain with footnotes, and they take that as condescending, or complain about them ... lose/lose situation. Audiences for long parodies, esp. Big 7, seem to be shrinking. All four of the Biggest Four posted on one day (APie, Ed Fitz, Maj-Gen, Supercal), 2/14/11, and the response was ... underwhelming. Same with smooshing three songs in a round-robin cycle, then six, then eight (A to B, B to C ... H to A). Guess that's why "Spell On You" is so popular these days. [/soapbox]

And thanks again for the trib.
Dave W. - March 09, 2012 - Report this comment
I appreciate perfect pacing as well as the next,and they can be a b**** sometimes to do right...I tend to be lazy in that area when I should be more critical..(of myself).....[.Great ]parodies are difficult for anyone I believe....They are usually as good if not better than the OS...The kind that make you cry as well as laugh.....There are so many gifted people on here....What peeves me the most .. are parodies that are blatant attacks on political figures or people or whatever that mean to harm .(filled with filth.and hate )........I love .. the wit and humor and intelligence that. is portrayed into the fine works I see here every day....I only hope to brighten up someones day a little with everything I post....Writing isn't my strong suit but I give it a go anyway.....I thank you all for your comments.. and sharing your advice too...They give me encouragement to continue....and to be better at it.............Happy upcoming 100th ,whenever that may be Leo
Tommy Turtle p. s. - March 09, 2012 - Report this comment
@ Leo: I've also been gradually posting mp3s that were made by the producer to whom I sold a few of my parodies. Now that they're dated, he's allowed me to do this. I had one on the home page until a few days ago. If you click "Comedy Song Recordings" from the home page, it's listed as March 1. (2012) Just submitted another, so maybe that link will be up by Monday. Professional production of one's written works is a real kick! :-D

Dave W.: Agree on all. Political satire has been a legitimate form of social criticism since ancient Greece and Rome. I try always to document mine with facts, and cite what it is about the person involved to which I object, but I agree with you: Too many are fact-free rants that consist only of insults and name-calling. Those do not constitute a rational argument. Cheers.
Leo Keough - March 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Dave W: Thanks for the vote/comment!

TT: How's this for an idea...Why not start an AIR version of Veteran's be celebrated on the (e.g.) first Thursday of each month by having all the long-lost vets show off their talents all at the same time...Just a thought...Maybe you could propose that to the vets on your contact list and see if there would be any interest.
Leo Keough - March 09, 2012 - Report this comment
@Tommy Turtle p.s.: I've been listening to your mp3s on SoundClick...They do a great job quality-wise...It's a shame they have to abbreviate the length of the parodies vs. that of the OSs.

I've been thinking of learning how to produce mp3s myself...We'll see...
TT - March 11, 2012 - Report this comment
@ Leo Keough, a/k/a "Leough" ;) : Thanks for listening. The worst "haircut" was when TJC and I collabbed on a parody after it was clear that Obama would be the 2008 POTUS nominee, and there was much speculation about whether H. Clinton would be VP nominee. We took "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from the musical "My Fair Lady" (you v'c'd our parody of that entire musical, TUVM), and made it "Shouldn't It Be Hillary?"

The producer-guy loved it, but as that's a rather long song, he cut it in *half* for his airplay version. Hmmph!... The irony: Of the mp3s from that era that I'm posting, he won't release the two about Hillary, because in fact, there has been rumbling about her taking Biden's place on the 2012 ticket. So he pays a few measly bucks in 2008, and gets to run it again four years later. (Nope, no per-play royalties for moi -- sold for a flat price.)

The original, which I don't believe you've seen, is at [WARNING: MORE SHAMELESS PLUGS COMING]

and the other Hillary song he's holding onto is

Re: producing one's own mp3s: Good band? Good singer (you?)? Rent a professional sound studio? -- None of that for moi, so just sold the lyrics and let him do the rest. It came out *much* better that way, as you noted (TUVM). So it's how much $ you want to put into it... GL

Veteran's Day ... and here I thought I had until November, esp. 'cuz haven't even done my @#$% Income Taxes yet :-(       Maybe not *every* month? Maybe with a common theme for each occasion? (Common OS, though that's a cross-generational issue). Other ideas? ... remind me after I get the (bird-) flippin' taxes in....
Leo Keough - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Re: 2008 pre-election parodies/videos: I thought the Born To Be Styled was the best of ones released so far...I left a v/c on that one...I wrote a couple of those before I started posting on AIR, but never submitted them, because they were already outdated by the time I started posting.

Re: mp3s: I've tinkered with producing my own recordings for many years. I produced a dozen or so original songs about 20 years ago using equipment I purchased for less than $1,000...No bands or studios were involved, just me. I used a MIDI sequencer to compose all the instrumental parts. The results were well below professional grade, but I had a ton of fun going through the process. I have no inclination to become a professional musician...I'd hate to ruin a good hobby by going in that direction.

Re: AIR Vets Day: I just thought it would be interesting to have a designated day each month where all the everyone showed up at once to post new songs and/or view and comment on what others posted...I thought that might inject a little extra life into the site...But judging from that lack of reaction so far, I'm doubting it will come to pass.
Tommy Turtle - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for v/c; replied there.

Yeah, the guy used either a sequencer or a licensed copy of TOS melody, not sure which. One singer, who did multiple parts (including three female backups in one that I intend to post this week), overdubbing his own tracks to produce a male lead and three females. Also did the opposite: female lead and three male backups.

Seems like the appropriate soundproofing, echo chambers, etc. would still be required for commercial-grade, but if it's just for fun, what the heck, go for it. ... Did you like the SFX in "It's About Crime"?

I thought Vet's Day was a great idea; it's just that with so many posting only a few a year, if any (Kris R and Styooart McA come to mind), monthly seemed a bit much to hope for. Maybe if it were a few times a year, it could be organized?
    I tossed the idea to sometimes-co-writer Fiddlegirl, who said that as the school year winds down soon (she teaches), she'd like to get back into writing, too. Don't give up. ;)
Leo Keough - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Re: SFX in "It's About Crime": I wasn't aware of there being a TV series called "It's About Time" until I looked it up on Wiki. I compared a version of the theme song I found on YouTube with your SoundClick parody version, and it seemed like your producer did a good job of making the background music and effects the same, although they weren't exact matches. The Wiki article I read said there were two versions of the theme song and gave the lyrics for both. Interestingly, the OS lyrics you included above your parody lyrics posted on AIR were different from both versions of the lyrics given on Wiki. So the YouTube version I listened to may have been different from the one on which you based your parody recording. Your recording might have been funnier had they overlaid some sound effects that related directly to some of the things in the lyrics, like the cat, pepper spray rubber hose, etc...and stuff I can't mention here without risk of being censored....I thought it was an excellent choice of OS in view of the fact that both the OS and parody were related to space travel.
Tommy Turtle - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Leo: The perennial problem of various lyrics, transcriptions, and versions floating around. Some TV series change their theme over time ("The Unit"), but this one wasn't around that long -- and for good reason, LOL.. ... Maybe he didn't want an *exact* match of SFX? Licensing the melody is one thing, but special stuff might be sort of trademary-y? ... I DK.

Love the idea of FX of pepper spray and rubber hose! -- guess he went for "close to TOS". (But the Fx of the diapers -- 900 miles without a restroom break, if you read the full story -- eh, probably not. ;)

"I thought it was an excellent choice of OS in view of the fact that both the OS and parody were related to space travel."
    One of those "it's a natural", for exactly that reason -- very first OS that came to mind. (Odd that one can remember TV theme songs from one's childhood, but not where is the pen I set down twenty seconds ago, or where the car was parked... ) [1]
Plus the fortuitous rhyme/syllable match between "Time" and "Crime".

I think I'll now put that one on Soundclick's "Chart", where apparently, only one song at a time is allowed per user. Will see how it does.

[1] As immortalized here, which I don't think you've seen (yet another shameless plug, but aside from the page hits, I threw you another set of 5s ;)
Leo Keough - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks...See v/c I left on linked song.

I found "It's About Time" earlier on SoundClick...Your complete list is available by clicking one of the links on the left (I forgot which) once you get to any one of the songs there.

@"Fx of the diapers ...": Actually I was thinking of something even grosser than that.
Tommy Turtle - March 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Leo Keough: Saw, replied; thanks.

"Your complete list is available by clicking one of the links on the left (I forgot which) once you get to any one of the songs there."
    Direct link to TT page, without needing to go anywhere else first:

As a shortcut, just
will redirect there automatically.

OK, tell us "which" Fx you were thinking of.... (I was including by inference the contents of the diapers: solid, liquid, and gaseous. ;)
John Barry - February 27, 2014 - Report this comment
I'm getting around to all your great work I missed.

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