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Song Parodies -> "The Channel Needs A Changin'"

Original Song Title:

"The Times They Are A Changin'"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"The Channel Needs A Changin'"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

America is facing crises of Barack-alyptic proportions, just watch the evening news. But if you place your faith in a dead Frenchman who almost got Hitler's name right, or in an extinct tribe of jungle savages who worshipped their god through human sacrifice, you're probably shaking in your boots over the doomsday forecasts they left behind. Last week I caught part of an all-day marathon of nearly identical shows on the History Channel depicting a number of possible scenarios for the end of the world.
Watch History Channel
And soon you will see
The impending demise
Of all humanity
The stars have aligned
To fulfill prophecy
Prepare to shake hands
With your Maker
For the New Madrid Fault
Could give way any day
And Saint Louis will be a quakin'

The ice it is melted
The glacier unfroze
And that's how the
Ultimate polar bear goes
To desperately swim
Midst the vanishing floes
The big fellow soon
May be drowning
Or will he bask on the sand
Where he frolicked in snow
For the climate is a changin'

The preacher, the rabbi
The imam, the priest
Are stamped on their hands
With the mark of the Beast
And he who would buy
And he who would sell
The Antichrist's number
Must get one
Then we'll all get our kicks
On Route 666
As we roll to Armageddon

The fist of Jehovah's
Unleashed mighty wrath
The Mayan astronomer's
Calender math
When terrestrial orbit
Meets asteroid's path
In two thousand twelve
Late December
We'll shout "Nostra-damn it!"
Kiss our asses good-bye
For the sky, indeed, is falling

The Westboro Baptists
Proclaim it with glee
It's all caused by
The water is gay
And so is the wind
Those hurricanes spawn
From the sinnin'
Mardi Gras Town will
Be flooded again
By a lesbian storm like Katrina

I could quit my job
And go live in a cave
It might be my refuge
It might be my grave
Stockpile munitions
And Krugerrands save
The prospects are all
So derangin'
Or take charge of the future
Stop livin' in fear
This channel it needs a changin'
Last fall I talked to a fellow from Westboro Baptist (Fred Phelps) Church. He said that the California fires and Hurrican Katrina were caused by America's acceptance of homosexuals.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Stonemason89 - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
A pox-a-lypse on all their houses! Well done!
Phil Alexander - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
metaphorsbwithu - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
*LOL* Great job! You remined me of why I almost never watch television except for football and a few minutes here and there just to make sure they're all still out of their minds. Clicking to channel 555.
Leo Keough - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
I'll be concerned about Doomsday when Jerry Springer gets a show on The History Channel (LOL). If you're worried about their content, that network has had "Mudd" on it for years (groan). Nice job! ;D
Kristof Robertson - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Armageddon a lot of laughs from this! Wonderfully doom-laden...a huge set of post apocalyptic 5s.
Christie Marie - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
The times aren't the only one that needs changing! We need to change our ways as well. Yeah, great prediction of how doomsday would be like (hopefully, it won't come to that). Anyways, here's some cable with 555 channels!
blackjack21 - September 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Very well done, better get my affairs in order. ;-) 555 days until destruction.
Leo Keough - October 14, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm commenting here, because I make it a practice to avoid conducting off-topic business on someone's parody page. I saw your challenge on one of today's parody pages about doing a parody of Bob Dylan's 'Lily, Rosemary And The Jack Of Hearts'. This is to let you know that I'm up for the challenge. In fact, I've already got a great title sub and concept. However, I don't want to invest the time it will take to produce the parody unless there are others who are willing to commit themselves to the challenge. If you are registered at InThe00s, I would suggest you start a thread to organize such a competition. If needs be, you can communicate with me by personal message at InThe00s.
Bruno - May 23, 2011 - Report this comment
I only just found this gem but it seems like we're all still as doomed as ever.
Patrick - October 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Sometimes it takes a few years to locate a parody. Leo did finish a truly inspired parody of "Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts" about three years later. Look it up.
Giorgio Coniglio - October 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Glad to discover this older piece. A few glitches ( don't polar bears inhabit shelf-ice rather than glaciers? - they're already in big trouble), but so much fun that I might like to perform it sometime at my uke-jam. May I ?
Patrick - June 19, 2014 - Report this comment
Sorry it took so long to uncover my Dylan parody. And for me to see your comments. Yes, anyone has permission to perform one of my songs. If you record it, please send me a copy. If you get any money, send me some.

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