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Song Parodies -> "Desperation Ho"

Original Song Title:

"Desolation Row"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Desperation Ho"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Temptation walks down at the corner
And flashes brown eyes around
Nearby, her pimp is an overseer
Car windows part way down..
Two blocks away, police cars park
Cops talking, head to head
Bribed fifty bucks to ignore the walkers,
Or doors, where a light is red
Slight wind..random raindrops scatter,
A car curbs, headlights low..
One soft hurried, "Hi".. a lip glossed smile
From desperation ho..

It's wham bam..thank you, mam, and over
Her bra tucks an old wrinkled Grant
She'd like to keep all of the fifty,
But she knows she can't..
The pimp watches her every moment
And will hip fat shares of each trick
So if she's short..even just one buck,
She'll get a kick..
Over ten, it's broken bones
Or razor slices, blood will flow
She's paid the price of cash withheld,
This desperation ho..

How she misses little Ernest,
Her son in a custody home
A court said, "Unfit mother"
With drug addiction, nightly, streets to roam
She's allowed short visitations,
And sees him just four days a month
She's tried rehab with failed attempts
Can't win, but what she'd want..
Wave and smile at anxious johns honking
Don't let mascara'd teardrops show
No one will spend money to watch her cry,
The desperation ho..

Young Ronella does what she's good at,
And sometimes she's really afraid
Cuz' there's always evil lurking
A gun, choking hands, or a blade..
She's acquired the gift of street sense,
Tho' educated slight
Uses female intuition
Walks on when things don't look right
She's tangled in a web of sin
Spiders come and go..
Surviving means working
As a desperation ho

Vertical hands notch up to noon
On the clock in her ghetto flat
Roaches squeeze thru cracks in the floor
Between walls, an unseen rat..
Open windows draft stenches of the dumpsters
And amp sounds from urban streets
It's her day of visitation,
So she bought little Ernest treats
Choc'late candy bars..cuz' he loves 'em
Hoping their hour passes slow
Then later tonight, it's on back to work
For desperation ho..

Johns are always old and fat,
And nervous and crude and rough
A dirty job..that brings in good money,
But never enough..
She'll insist they all wear condoms
For protection against STD
Monday at the county board of health
They pass 'em out for free
The night is hot and humid
Perspiration adds a glow
Her skirt is red, and her heart is blue,
She's a desperation ho..

Ronella recalls her childhood
A stepfather's sexual abuse
And how her mom denied it
It made her just think.. what's the use
A seven year old bitter woman
Is what she became back then..
Lost all self-esteem and confidence
Mixed emotions were formed of men
Spent the teen years, a lost and skinny kid
Shy and afraid the guilt would show
It was written in tears, down this road she'd be going
A desperation ho

Just a target for the task force
In and out of court and jail
Don't blame herself, she blames the world
For her life's stormy gale..
Many times she's tried jobs fast fooding
But the jobs do not work out..
She can't stand taking orders
Or being bossed about..
The waves of prostitution
Seem to be her ebb and flow
From the street, there can be no escaping
For desperation ho..

It's close to midnight, Tuesday
Her pimp's Cadillac is gone
So she does something risky,
Holds back tips from johns..
Tomorrow noon is her son's visit time
When they'll have another hour
It's his birthday, wants to buy for him
A nice boombox with power..
Still watching her, and out of sight,
Is pimp, Emery, who didn't go
Late that night there's violent destiny
For desperation ho

Detectives find her body in the park
A field where children go to play
What the evidence uncovers
Is Emery's DNA...
The slow cars still cruise down elm street
And the blind man holds a cup
Sparrows still perch and beg at Wendy's
The clouds and blue sky are still up
The cops still park head to head..
On Ronella's grave, grass will grow..
But Desiree walks at the corner,
A new desperation ho

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dee Range - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Having done this monster twice, let me be the first to say....great job!
AFW - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Dee...I have read and admired both of your fantastic versions
blackjack21 - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Fine writing and great storytelling. $555 trick, but Emery keeps $500, the turd!
Mark Scotti - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
A MONSTER epic of the woes of a ho.... Servicing you fives for a lonnnnnng tale...
Timmy1000 - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Very descriptive and epic story; it was really easy to sing the words as they flowed really well with the OS. Great job.
MsTail oWoe - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
This is frighteningly good, Sir L'Air de Farce, Duke oEdge, Lord SatyrMayor ! Enjoy your 3-Day, Sir.
metaphorsbwithu - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Terrific! Dylan pulled out all the stops on that early song.I loved the images in the OS and you're re-interpretation certainly did it justice. Lot's of fun in spite of the darker side. 555
Fiddlegirl - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow... fantastic write, by all aesthetic criteria. Powerful images and story line.
DJ Blaze - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm not the biggest into prostitute humor, but this was still an excellent write from an excellent writer! Pardon the generation gap, but I only remember the My Chemical Romance version. 555
TT - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Was this based on a true story? Sounds like it could have been. ... yes, usually there is a sad story behind each. Either way, what FG said.
Christie Marie M - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
It feels like Christmas because it's "HO HO HO!" One pimped out parody, AFW!!
Christie Marie M - September 04, 2009 - Report this comment
I forgot to tell you, this could be one of those songs played in the Jerry Springer show!
AFW - September 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Got in late...thanks, everyone for kind comments and voting
AFW - September 05, 2009 - Report this comment
And, Oh, TT's, not based on any actual true story...let's call it authentic fiction..

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