It was once again that Christmas time
In most cities the snow falls down
And also in the city of Phoenix
Dear Santa comes around
But that city knew no winter
Until one year by chance
This was a night that messed up Santa
He nearly peed his pants
When a little girl so restless
Woke up before he could go
“Dear Santa, before you leave tonight
Oh, won’t you make it snow?

Oh dear Santa, it should be so easy!”
She told him in her winsome style
So charmed, Santa moved from the chimney
Thought he’d stay awhile
“Do you know what you are asking?
Is that what you truly believe?”
He also said, “It’s not my place, my child
I better leave”
With that, Santa turned stage left
And with a wink started to go
But Cecelia stepped it up—
“Please! Won’t you make it snow?

On a snow sled I’ve never ridden
That’s one thing I would like to try
And freestyle skiing, maybe
I would go cruising down a mountainside!
In Phoenix, here, I can’t do that
The hot weather’s always the same
You never expect to need a coat
Or even expect some rain
Plus, Frosty the Snowman I’m hoping
To see him like on that TV show
That is my Christmas Wish for tonight
Oh, won’t you make it snow?”

“Well Cecelia, come with me right now
You do not need to be afraid
On this trip, we can’t delay
We must go to see The Weather Maid
For she has powerful magic
It truly is the best
She determines the condition
Of Earth’s skies and all climates
She moves the rain and the clouds all on
Even the rainbow
She’s the one to be asking
To get your city’s snow”

Santa, as wise as he was good
Popped Cecelia in a trunk
She served as carry-on cargo
This young one full of spunk
Cecelia peeped out and got an eyeful
Of where those reindeer went
Through forests with green and red stripes
Where no mortals caused a dent
Santa had a look on his face that was slightly grim
Who’d thought they’d have so far to go
To find this magical maiden
And just to make it snow?

Weather Maid lived in a world
That seemed a bit mixed up
Where little eggs laid big chickens
And humans were walked by pups
Weather Maid lived in a castle
She looked like Glenn Close with a big black mole
Santa marched in with Cecelia
“I’ll do the talking, please lay low…
Dear Weather Maid, please won’t you help us?
Come so far, you know
If you could be so kind and fair enough
Please give Phoenix some snow?”

“Well now, my sweet, if you are certain
I hope you’re prepared for that!”
And without another word
Stretched her arms like a prowling cat
The sun then rose into a nova
And the Earth’s axis slightly swerved
The dark room filled with great radiance
And the walls got greatly curved
And the Maid then shouted some magic words
“Maximus dos precipio!
I move all the weather unto my bidding
LET PHOENIX HAVE SOME SNOW!”

Now soon enough, all the guys from
Phoenix Streets and San. Crew
Stood still and looked at everyone
They did not know what to do
And they closed the ice cube factory
Business quickly hit the skids
But there were mass sales of shovels
And all the little kids
Were building up snow castles
And the wind did howl and blow
And the parents you could see were all complaining
About that crazy snow

It snowed and snowed for two months
In Phoenix, on and on
With nobody mowing
Homeowners lost their lawn
The Phoenix Suns joined the NHL
Heating bills made people sour
And beachcombers got no tan
And gardeners no flowers
Honey vendors lost their bees
They moved to Tuckahoe
And nobody thought to drink iced teas
Due to having so much snow!

Cecelia came home from Santa’s sleigh
And found the septic tank had broke
The thing went overflowing
Thanks to Weather Maid’s big stroke
“But it was all in good intention!
Looks like things won’t be the same
Seems we’ll need to move from Phoenix
I’m the one that they all will blame
Maybe we’ll move to Hollywood
And shop a movie deal, you know
Steven Spielberg directs it—
‘Please Won’t You Make It Snow?’”