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Song Parodies -> "Mr DIY Man"

Original Song Title:

"Mr Tambourine Man"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Mr DIY Man"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Hey! Mr. DIY Man, fix the shelves for me,
Mine are creaky and I'm worried that they're going to
Crash! Mr. DIY Man, fix the shelves for me
In the rising swirling dust I'm disappearing from view

I know my kitchen walls are lookin' rather like Swiss cheese
And my wife I must appease
So I'm askin' of you please, put up these units
My competence deserting me, it's like I've two left hands
And I cannot understand
Why things don't go as I've planned, they're all askew bits

Hey! Mr. DIY Man, fill some holes for me,
There's too many, and there is no place for gluing to
Hey! Mr. DIY Man, drill some holes for me,
Through the rumblin', crumblin' wall I'm disappearing from view

Then later as I strip the walls of paper, strip by strip
In my thumb, I feel a rip and my hands no longer grip
'Cause I think I lost the tip of a finger as it slipped
The chair I stood on
And if I'm goin' anywhere, I'm off to casualty
Get some stitches stitched in me, close the window as I see
The wound's a good 'un

Hey! Mr. DIY Man, build a wall for me,
Mine is wonky and the ceiling's gonna fall on through
Hey! Mr. DIY Man, build a wall for me
See the sprawling, falling brickwork, disappearing from view

Though you might hear shoutin', spoutin', groutin' badly round the bath
I implore, please don't laugh, it's 'cause I can't get the staff
And though I've done roughly half
It is still leakin'
And if you could, you might repair that puncture in the line
Do your DIY in time, 'cause a stitch in time saves nine
No need to look at the design, it's just some running water
That you're seekin'

Hey! Mr. DIY Man, mend the pipe for me,
It's all drippy, there must be a hole it's comin' through
Hey! Mr. DIY Man, mend the pipe for me,
In the floodin' muddy water disappearing from view

And then I hear the trickle dripping, dropping on the floor
Running quickly out the door, past the sad and sodden cat
And my drenched and dripping hat, and then to my dismay
See foundations washed away, the house will follow
Yes, to crash onto the carpet as the roof slates tumble down
Drifting debris all around, showering shrapnel from on high
So I duck and wave goodbye to my bedroom as it flies
Past me standing, pass on by until tomorrow

Hey! Mr. DIY Man, build a house for me,
Kinda sleepy but there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. DIY Man, build a house for me,
In the dusty, mucky wreckage, disappearing from view

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - January 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Great job...theme fits all the crazy weather, of late. fives
alvin rhodes - January 02, 2006 - Report this comment
i'm fixin' to give ya some fives
Larry - January 02, 2006 - Report this comment
This parody's in good working order. 5's
Johnny D - January 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Love good MTM parodies, and this is one of 'em. Bravo, Philbo, and Happy New Year!
tothepoint - January 02, 2006 - Report this comment
The original sounds funny and i'm sure the parody is to but enough with bob dylan beatles and so forth.Write some updated stuff, this is not directed to you.Its to all the guys who do this.But whatever Floats ya boat.PEACE
Phil Alexander - January 03, 2006 - Report this comment
To stick to the point, if you want parodies on up-to-date tunes, then WRITE 'EM YOURSELF. Why should I and the fogies of my generation have to put ourselves through the puerile claptrap masquerading as music that is today's charts?...funnily enough, the two I've got on the drawing board at the moment are 1930s and 19th century... so I'm heading even further in the wrong direction, I'm afraid ;-)
Ravyn Rant - January 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Fives for the parody, and if I could score the above comment, I'd give it fives as well.
Phil Alexander - January 03, 2006 - Report this comment
:-) Well, it was a bit of a ravin' rant, I suppose...
Ravyn Rant - January 03, 2006 - Report this comment
And a very well-done ravin' rant it was! I should know. :=)
PMS - January 03, 2006 - Report this comment
You said it Phil! I can't listen to most "up to date" stuff long enough to parody it It's too annoying.
Red Ant - January 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Thought I'd commented and voted yesterday, but I guess not. Excellent parody and rhymes. I had an idea called "Mr. Maintenance Man" for all the calls I used to get when I had that job, but this is close enough to what I had in mind (except better) so I can scrap that idea now. Funny, with TMGLTMSIOMO: "past the sad and sodden cat". As for tothepoint's comment, I find it ironic that it was left on one of your parodies since you have parodied every nearly every decade and style of music.
Phil Alexander - January 04, 2006 - Report this comment
You should go for it, RA:
Hey, Mr Maintenance Man, repair my PC
It's not going and there's no OS to boot into...
...and what do you mean "nearly" every decade and style: have I missed any?
Red Ant - January 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Nu-metal I think is the only mainstream genre you've not yet done. I think when you mentioned "puerile claptrap masquerading as music" above you were thinking of nu-metal. I know I was. ;-) Wikipedia has a listing of what bands are considered nu-metal.
John Jenkins - January 04, 2006 - Report this comment
You are not a fogy, Phil. This is a very good story with lots of good lines, and the bath verse stands out to me.
Phil Alexander - January 04, 2006 - Report this comment
I feel like it at times, John... I'm glad the bath stands out, 'cause I'm not sure what a bath stand is, anyway ;-)
Red Ant - the Wiki article on nu metal mentions RHCP, and I've done two of theirs (not particularly metallic ones, though). The specific "puerile claptrap" I was thinking of, as it happens, was Daniel Bedingfield's "If I'm Not The One" (which was so awful, I had to write a parody to it).
tothepoint - January 08, 2006 - Report this comment
I have written them they are on this site under deldel.I love old music but bob dylan.I came in peace with alittle harsh opinion.NO REGRETS
Larry G - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Nothing like a good handy man parody..:)) good job
Phil Alexander - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
..I thought you were going to add "and this is nothing like a good handy man parody" :-)

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