Possum on the pavement
Gettin' down with Edison
Gonna party with cavemen
Talkin' with an accent
Whizzin' into a dry moat
Don't shout, don't scoff
Or you're gonna get a bad cough
From sniffin' aerosol Off
Place your bid
On fried parts of squid
Don't eat shark fin
Because it's a PETA sin
You might get mugged in an alley way
By folks you can't comprehend
Who think that music is rap
And whom dig zen
Sell the 200 dollar bill
That got you on CNN

Treat your athlete's foot
But the sweatiness stays put
Recyclin' grill soot
Lookin' out for corn smut
Plagiarizing an essay
Upgrade your TV display
Don't believe what ads say
"Cause it's lies from the FDA
Diss El Cid
Go unplug the power grid
Fire your CEOs
Spoof verse and prose
Bite the dust and decompose
Or figure out why neon glows
Your computer froze
When you ripped all those TV shows
You don't need to read the man
To know a hurricane blows

Dipstick that can't spell
Gropin' Scholle's insole gel
Get you a Dell cell
And try to port MS Excel
A retard got charred
"Cause he ate snails
On a blue whale
And sent out a chain email
Don't forbid
Lickin' your armpit
Confiscate tweezers
From toad users
Jammin' with your home theater
Kenmore and Whirlpool
Make appliances that look cool
Trust Slashdot readers
Who measure stuff in meters

Fill out your tax form
Refinance so you can visit France
Get depressed "cause you're stressed
Ever since your arrest
Kayak, dirtbike, climb cliffs
Or use the elevator lift
Stop with all your foolin'
And learn to drive a stick shift
Tupperware lid
But the Tupperware's hid
Find your remote in a manhole
Then your favorite show's canceled
Try not to ramble
Don't skip the preamble
Drink pond scum
And go suck on your thumb
And don't go berserk
When you're in a bear's mandibles