It ain't no use in clickin' on no fives, mates
That's a triple negative
An' it ain't no use in clickin' on no fives, mates
I'd feel flattered if you did

The aim of this song is not to self-aggrandize
Can't wait for your comments and your crackin' wise
You gals and you straights and you gays and you guys:
Don't click fives, this song bites!

Submitted nearly two hundred songs, pals
Some wished I'd never wrote
Submitted nearly two hundred songs, pals
"Bob's annoying," that's a quote--

Well, up till now you've treated me real kind
That one's guy's a turdball, but I don't mind
If you sorta feel like I'm wastin' your time
Don't click fives, it's your right!

There ain't no sense in sendin' ROFLMAO's out
Only if you're so inclined--
There ain't no sense in sendin' ROFLMAO's out
IMHO DKTOS or #@!$&/% signs

I write this crap to keep my brain employed
If my songs annoy you, then be annoyed
Such annoyances may lead to swollen 'roids
Don't click fives if songs bite!

There ain't no use in tearin' off your tights, babes
Can't imagine why you would
There ain't no use in tearin' off your tights, babes
I wouldn't help you if I could!

The sight of your buttocks is no cause for me
To up my production or my quality
Your buns are two things I'd prefer not to see
Clothing's nice, keep on tights

"You've written down some God-awful songs, Bob!"
That's my spouse, can't you tell?
And "This site is too full of nerds, Bob!"
And then, "Some days fairly smell!"

"I can't understand this guy you're callin' ChuckyG!
He's pullin' in ad revenue, so where's your fee?
At least he could send you two bucks per parody!"
So thinks wife, this all bites!

Bush thinks Rice is all white--
Boiling thrice dissolves tripe--
Jesus Christ, nits are lice--
Golf swing slice, it's Tom Kite--
Don't click fives, this song bites!