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Song Parodies -> "Calico Cats"
Original Song Title:
"Alley Cat"
Original Performer:
Bobby Rydell
Parody Song Title:
"Calico Cats"
Parody Written by:
William Tong
The Lyrics
Attorney General John Ashcroft fears calico cats, believing them to be agents of Satan. He is also known to anoint himself with Crisco Oil, and had bare-chested public statues covered at government expense.
(instrumental intro)
Ashcroft is a loon, all right.
Hates calico cats.
They cause fear, despite his might.
Hates calico cats.
He wants such cats out of sight.
Or they'll drive him bats.
He's more often wrong than right.
Hates calico cats.
(Refrain:)
He sees them ("Oh, no!")
He loathes them ("Must go!")
He'll seize them ("Like so.")
Chase out all the calicos,
And now we all
Hear him say: "Hey, be a pal.
Get me more Crisco.
Don't want corn oil or low-cal !
My supply is low."
(instrumental break)
He sees them ("Oh, no!")
He loathes them ("Must go!")
He'll seize them ("Like so.")
Chase out all the calicos,
And he says that
He knows just what "sinful" means.
Bare breasts drive him bats.
Coverin' statues by all means.
And no calico cats.
And that's the mad, mad tale of our top cop male...
Hates calico cats!
Ashcroft is a loon, all right.
Hates calico cats.
They cause fear, despite his might.
Hates calico cats.
He wants such cats out of sight.
Or they'll drive him bats.
He's more often wrong than right.
Hates calico cats.
(Refrain:)
He sees them ("Oh, no!")
He loathes them ("Must go!")
He'll seize them ("Like so.")
Chase out all the calicos,
And now we all
Hear him say: "Hey, be a pal.
Get me more Crisco.
Don't want corn oil or low-cal !
My supply is low."
(instrumental break)
He sees them ("Oh, no!")
He loathes them ("Must go!")
He'll seize them ("Like so.")
Chase out all the calicos,
And he says that
He knows just what "sinful" means.
Bare breasts drive him bats.
Coverin' statues by all means.
And no calico cats.
And that's the mad, mad tale of our top cop male...
Hates calico cats!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 17 | 17 | 17 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 53 | 53 | 53 |
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