I was clickin' through the tube late one night
When I came upon a whacked-out sight
A dumpster on a slab rolled into view
Then suddenly.. a motley crew

They made a dash
They made a dumpster dash
The Dumpster Dash
It's a cable smash

All for the cash
Through the garbage they thrash
They roll in trash
They do the Dumpster Dash

From their houses re-poed, livin' in their cars
To the dipsey dumpsters where they morph into stars
Red, white 'n blue, decked with bright fairy lights
An air horn blasts to start the fist fights

They make a dash
It's called the Dumpster Dash
Balls-out for cash
Through old gravy they splash

We watch 'em crash
Through the egg/poo they clash
They rip through trash
They do the Dumpster Dash

The viewers are having fun
(Wah-ooo!)
--One Dasher has just been stunned--
(Wah-ooooo-ooo!!)
Who'da guessed such tripe would make it?
(Yah, who?)
Crack a brew, we're so done!

The can was rockin', all were rootin' through slop
Assholes 'n elbows, then the horn blasted 'stop'
The dumpster dashers were all told to take five
While this message from the station arrived:

"You want some cash?
Come on and Dumpster Dash!
Come Dumpster Dash
Come on, sift through the trash!

Don't fear a rash,
Come on, schlep through the hash!
Just take a dash
Come take the Dumpster Dash!"

Stiff in a coffin this farce should sit
Seems instead, it's a network hit
I spun the channels, and got the gist
And thought, 'Whatever happened, how can shows like this exist?'

And watched 'em dash
I watched 'em Dumpster Dash
The Dumpster Dash
Has caught on in a flash

They dive for cash
And each other they bash
They do the Dash
They do the Dumpster Dash

Forget it, sit back, Dumpster's nailin' the brand
Shows like Dumpster Dash are the fare of the land
For those undead, who need things that blow
This one's the most dead-on reality show

So make the dash
Give up and Dumpster Dash
The Dumpster Dash
Is a network smash

You'll grab some cash
That you can waste and flash
After the Crash
We all will Dumpster Dash

(Wah-ooo, wah-wah-ooo.. changing to sucking and gurgling sounds as bank accounts go dry)