Dammit, my chute's blocked!
Dammit, my chute's blocked!
Poop will not come out ‘cause bran's the kind of chow I've avoided!

My butt hurts
Fecally
Cannot eject what's inside of me--
Lord have mercy when a boy sits down and his chute's blocked!


Hey there, Doc, let's have a talk
About my concrete stools--
Forget about the colonoscopy,
Put away those scary tools!

And don't you dare come near me with
Rubber gloves ‘n' a tube in hand--
Just give me one good laxative,
I'm spendin' all day on the can!

Dammit, my chute's blocked!
Dammit, my chute's blocked!
Poop will not come out ‘cause bran's the kind of chow I've avoided!

Grunting once,
Grunting twice,
My butt feels like an anal vise!
Lord have mercy when a boy sits down and his chute's blocked!

Dammit, my chute's blocked!
Dammit, my chute's blocked!

One fine day and bombs away!
My drainpipe will unpack--
I'll download “Rocky I through V”
And I'll have to call the plumber back

Until that morning I'll push and strain
And eat twelve bags of prunes--
But here it is 2005,
I haven't gone since June!

Dammit, my chute's blocked!
Dammit, my chute's blocked!
Poop will not come out ‘cause bran's the kind of chow I've avoided!

No more fries,
No red meat,
Beans and flax seed are what I'll eat!
Lord have mercy when a boy sits down and his chute's blocked!
Lord have mercy on my ‘roids ‘cause, dammit, my chute's blocked!
‘Roids are burstin' on this boy ‘cause, dammit, my chute's blocked!