Well this lady I met did flirt with me
So we hung out each night 'round three
She was kinda tall and she fell in high heel shoes
Now, on Friday nights she went and she did
some big long lip-synced Lady GaGa bid
And before she left guys slipped tips in her boobs

Well, she laughed a lot and was never broke
and she got lots of gasps from lotsa folks
I thought that they were checking her out too
One night behind us I saw red
And she pulled over, and the cop said
License please, and it turned out her name was Drew

Well, My heart beat quick and I asked honey bee
I thought you said your name was Julie
So why'd that guy there call you that name?
and then she said oh wow honey, you from Mars?
About then I was seeing some stars
Is she a man who gave me a drag queen name?

Well, I looked her up and down her thigh
And I could see it there in bright day light
I thought "Oh my lord, my chic is a dude"
It was like a brick hit me with a thud
Passed out and felt like a dud
The girl I was lovins' real name was Drew

Well, I woke up later that night in her bed
She said "What's wrong, you zonked and hit your head"
And I just looked at her with an inquisitive eye
Tell me what I just heard isn't true
And she looked at me and her face was blue
And she said: "My name is Drew, Babe it is true
I ain't gonna lie"
Yeah that's what she told me

Well, I ran to my car down in her drive
And she acted like she was surprised
She said "What's Up" and I said "I Gotta get out of here"
But she looked at me now and she was looking so mean
and she bent over close and on my door she leaned
Yelling and a cussing in foul words so absurd in my ear

I mean I thought she was a gal
and maybe we can go and be pals
I tried to be cool and she said I was mean and vile
I heard her yell and I said now please don't cuss
but my car wouldn't start so I called for a bus
She sat there and asked me could I stay for awhile

And I said, "I, May like it rough
But babe I can't fake it, I don't do that stuff
If I had known you were a guy I would've left you a lone
Then what she told me next was the biggest surprise
She said "You dummy I ain't a guy
Drew is my name don't mean I have a dong"

Yeah

I said: "What was that bulge I saw 'tween your thighs"
And you won't believe me, she relieved my fright
Her tampon shown, yep I mistook my chick for a dude
But she up'd and dumped me, she said goodbye
She punched me in my guts, said I wasn't right
Was the last that I saw of that girl named Drew

Yeah
Who would've knew, who would've knew
I got all messed up, and when she was gone
And I called up my mom, and she said what is wrong
And I lost my girlfriend who's name was Drew
She said "That's alright there little Jen
Someday you'll find a girl who believes you're a Jim"
And I told her the whole story, What dude's name will I pretend?
Bob or John! Hell maybe Drew! I still miss that dame!