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Song Parodies -> "She's Heaving Gnomes"

Original Song Title:

"She's Leaving Home"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"She's Heaving Gnomes"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

Look here for a sing-along midi of OS.
Doomsday morning’s arrived for schlock! As the day begins,
fed up to here she can’t take any more,
leaving her husband asleep and a-snore
she goes downstairs softly bitching, clucking, “That man’s my grief!
Years I’ve been yearning fanatic’ly
to oust him and his debris!”

She (“Seeing those gnomes gives me hives!”)
is heaving (“Look like spoils from dumpster dives!!”)
gnomes. (“Tasteless junk, waste of our money to buy.”)
She’s heaving gnomes that in front of her home
draw so many jeers. (Bye-bye.)

Hubby stirs as his wife, he senses, is tossing ’round.
Checking on whether she’s lying there,
standing he groans “Seems she’s gone, but where?”
He wakes now and hies to discover, maddened, betrayed he’s been.
Crying “This treatment ... what for?” is he,
“How could she do this to me?”

He (“I’ve had those gnomes all my life.”)
is leaving (“I love them more than my wife.” )
home. (“Those ‘ugly’ garden gnomes, Honey, were mine!”)
He’s leaving home ’cause she’s thrown out his gnomes
without any tears. (Bye-bye.)

Cried out, mourning his pined-for schlock he’s gone far away.
Maybe his deep disappointment will fade.
She thinks he’d first eat a hand grenade.

She (“I should’ve known all along ...”)
is glad he (“that, for me, he was all wrong.)
’s gone. (“What’d his garden gnome groomsmen imply?”)
She’s been dry-eyed ever they bye-bye’d
’midst her many cheers. (Bye-bye.)

She heaved his gnomes, bye-bye.
Risking alienation of their fans, I have to say that if Alex Trebeck said to me "Yard ornaments that can make even those metal-legged pink flamingoes and shiny colored globes atop bird bath pedestals look good," I'd have to reply "What are garden gnomes?" :-) © Stan Hall 11/20/2008

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Stan Hall - November 21, 2008 - Report this comment
$%*&% !!! Anothe misdirecting midi link. It _should_ point to:
alvin - November 21, 2008 - Report this comment
i dug this quirky first i thought it was gonna be UPCHUCKING gnomes which would have been even quirkier
Stan - November 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin ... AAMOF, I'd originally had in mind that sort of theme with the title sub, but went with what you read as I liked its echoing of the OS's. :-)
Invisible Boy - November 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved it wacky yet so well written. Great title sub.
I especially liked what you did with the answer lines
Phil Alexander - November 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Pretty much exactly what IB said... brilliant stuff :-)
Stan - November 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, IB & Phil. Ever since a certain scene in "The Full Monty" I laugh atthe mere thought of garden gnomes. :-)
AFW - November 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Be it ever so humble, there's no place for gnomes...great job, Stan
Stuart McArthur - November 21, 2008 - Report this comment
loved it, Stan - "He’s leaving home ’cause she’s thrown out his gnomes" made me LOL although there were cleverer lines and answers throughout - and beautiful syllable-matching - 555
Meriadoc - November 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Very unique concept.
Stan - November 22, 2008 - Report this comment
AFW, Stuart, Merry ... thanks! We have no garden gnomes, but should any start congregating in the yard, I think I'd arrange for someone to be thieving'em rather than risk the family peace by heaving'em myself. :-)
Below Average Dave - November 22, 2008 - Report this comment
I'd like to see her heave my "Greek Gnomes" (shameless plug). Very original idea Stan, which on a Beatles song is not easy to come by.
PMS - November 23, 2008 - Report this comment
I have the same reaction as you about the gnome scene in "The Full Monty".
Stan - November 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, BAD & PMS (re funny gnome scenes, if a film called "Buffalo Bill Redux" ever turns up in an indie festival wherever you are, don't miss it; one scene involving a mounted deer's head is right in there with Monty's gnomes.)
malcolm higgins - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
you tossed 'em mine ate 'em

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