Song Parodies -> "Health!"

Original Song Title:

"Help!"

Original Performer:

"Health!"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Partially, but not totally, based on personal experience

Health!
I don't want ailing
Health!
Now I'm fearing failing
Health!
It's cost is way too much
Health!

The thirteen hundreds
Featured lunkheads known as docs
Their use of leeches never brought back
Health with plague and pox
Now doctors have a lot
Of great technology
But my boss won't give Blue Cross
I can't afford Plan B

Healthy's how I planned to self-describe
But I don't have cash to pay the needed bribe
Now I fear cuts that don't come from jibe
Can't say bleeding's healthy

I learn from writers' brains
Those show docs know a lot
But TV patients never
Have the things I've got

House never fails to deal
With ailments that are rare
But he would be no help to me
Fact is, he wouldn't care

Healthy when I ran until I tore
Something they called cruciate now I'm in poor
Health I'd have a wheelchair if insured
I don't feel real healthy

A toenail fungus
Is no fun if you're well-paid
But now it's plenty reason
To be quite afraid

When all my teeth are gone
You won't hear me complain
Mouth uncrowned, then I'll be bound
To dine in mashed food chains

Health seems to be bad from coast to coast
And it won't ameliorate quickly for most
Health's not being a great viral host
I don't feel real healthy
Healthy, healthy (sneeze)

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McKludge - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment

A toast to your Health! Mazeltov!

AFW - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment

Good message, humorously told

alvin - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment

catchy

Ann Hammond - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment

he he

John Barry - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment

Your parody skills are healthy.

Meriadoc - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment

Gesundheit!

Jonathan S. - July 19, 2008 - Report this comment

I also planned "help/health" and "help me/healthy" switches for an idea I had, though this isn't the direction I thought of taking.

That's not saying yours is bad, though. Well-written and well-paced.
5
4
5

Agrimorfee - August 04, 2008 - Report this comment

(Amiright Idol) There's some funny moments here...cruciate/ameliorate as subs were absolutely nuts! Problems that I had was that there were so many ideas that jumped around before one got finished ("Now I fear cuts..." for example....and the pauses in between line ideas were kind of weird for me, too. ("tore/Something" for example). 545

Below Average Dave - August 04, 2008 - Report this comment

(AmIRight Idol) I feel that this one was one of the better title subs I've seen, and I love the idea. I think you executed it really well, but I wish their was more jugular comedy here. As a whole, this would work as a recording, but I don't think it'd be your selling point on an album. . .

Red Ant - August 04, 2008 - Report this comment

Technically excellent, and there were some great subs (especially for "younger"). I liked the "To dine in mashed food chains" line. I felt some of your lines were phrased more to go for internal rhyming than conventional talk, and it comes out a bit stilted in places, but overall this was quite good.

Tim Mayfield - August 05, 2008 - Report this comment

(Idle American) Loved the brilliant wordplay and fancy footwork in this one.

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