Health!
I don't want ailing
Health!
Now I'm fearing failing
Health!
It's cost is way too much
Health!

The thirteen hundreds
Featured lunkheads known as docs
Their use of leeches never brought back
Health with plague and pox
Now doctors have a lot
Of great technology
But my boss won't give Blue Cross
I can't afford Plan B

Healthy's how I planned to self-describe
But I don't have cash to pay the needed bribe
Now I fear cuts that don't come from jibe
Can't say bleeding's healthy

I learn from writers' brains
Those show docs know a lot
But TV patients never
Have the things I've got

House never fails to deal
With ailments that are rare
But he would be no help to me
Fact is, he wouldn't care

Healthy when I ran until I tore
Something they called cruciate now I'm in poor
Health I'd have a wheelchair if insured
I don't feel real healthy

A toenail fungus
Is no fun if you're well-paid
But now it's plenty reason
To be quite afraid

When all my teeth are gone
You won't hear me complain
Mouth uncrowned, then I'll be bound
To dine in mashed food chains

Health seems to be bad from coast to coast
And it won't ameliorate quickly for most
Health's not being a great viral host
I don't feel real healthy
Healthy, healthy (sneeze)