I Watched 60 Minutes Today, Oh Boy
About An Elderly Man Who Passed Away
That's Was What Dan Rather Said
Well, I Don't Want To Laugh
I Saw The Photograph
He Blew His Nose In His Shirt
He Did'nt Notice His Kids Grew Up
A Group Of Thugs Tugged His Beard
They'd Seen His Face Before
Under Pressure
Was With The Houses Of The Holy

I Saw A Film Today Oh, Boy
The People Here Had Just Won At Baseball
The Audience Had Just Turned Away
But I Had To Read
I Was Taking The Lead
I'd Love To Turn The TV

Woke Up Got Out Of Bed
I Felt A Bump On My Head
Found My Way Upstairs And Found My Keys
And Looking Up, Notice I Was Bad
Found My Car, And Found My Cat
All The Tires Were Flat
Went Swimming And Did A Stroke
Someone Smoked And I Went To Daydream
Ah

I Watched 60 Minutes Today
$1,000,000 In Atlanta, Georgia
And That's What Dan Rather Said
They Had To Count Them All
Now They Know How Many Dollars
It Takes To Fill The Whole Hall
I'd Love To Turn The TV