Swigger needs help, drinks a boatload of liquor
On a blackout spree, dozen rounds of rye
He’s enthralled with booze, which he don’t bibe slowly
Guy’s got constantly bloodshot eyes

Cells of brain withered from ethanol streams
Drowning his brown-leaking head
Lives in a world that is nothing but lies
Drunk he’s on

Rudy’s always high on the strong stuff
Rudy’s always high, can get enough
Rudy slugs down rye and the strong stuff
Drunk!

Swallows it down like it spouts from a fountain
He’s crocked in due course, “I ain’t hammered” he lies
Many dumb lie he spits out while he glowers
Defamed two women many times

Douche made a practice of being a whore
For his crime boss every day
But his attacks brought him into court, now
Must pay up

Rudy got a fine, giant one
Rudy got fined, making bunk up
Rudy lied, now he must pay up

Blitzed twit needs help, he’s an abomination
Tried to bang a nymphet who’s saved just in time
When was it that “America’s Mayor” turned vile?
He fought it once, now he does crime
Crook

Rudy’s doin’ crime and lyin’
Rudy all the time was lyin’
Rudy, ball o’ slime that’s lyin’
Euw!

Huge pile of dimes he’ll be plyin’
To two ’bout whom he was lyin’
Humungous pile he’ll be plying
Huge!

Oozing, his head that was slimy
Oozing was his mouth, out came slime
Booze-filled his head with brain fryin’
Booze

Stooge with boozed head is lyin’ slime
Humungous lies he was plying
Humungous pile with steam risin’