Your scans are clear, as we had hoped -
The tests all show you're doing fine there
But what the heck, let's cut you open,
'Cause... who knows what we might find there?
Ooh, lets try what you're not needin'
Ooh, leave you drugged up and bleedin'
Got to go the way of the knife...
Got to get you under my knife!

I went to school to learn to cut,
And it was at my daddy's urgin'
I studied hard, and all for what?
So he could boast his son's a surgeon...
Ooh, to live life as an actor!
Ooh, but my dreams weren't a factor
Got to live my dad's unlived life...
Got to get you under my knife!

So sad to say, my great career
The time has come for me to leave you
I'll miss the status, that I fear
But otherwise I will not grieve you
Ooh... adios to ambition
Ooh... here's to debt and auditions
Now's the time to live my own life!
Now I get to live my own life!