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Song Parodies -> "Amsterdam, Netherlands"

Original Song Title:

"Alice's Restraunt"

Original Performer:

Arlo Guthrie

Parody Song Title:

"Amsterdam, Netherlands"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

No, this is not a parody of the full 18 minute narration. I, however, admit that it would be fun to attempt it. For now, I'll use the actual song portion. Amsterdam city officials recently bemoaned the lack of family tourists visiting their city. Ya think! ;D

You can get anything you want in Amsterdam, Netherlands
You can do anything you want in Amsterdam, Netherlands
Come right in and you'll be a pal
Have a Heineken beside a filthy canal
You can have anything you want in Amsterdam, Netherlands

You can get any drugs you want in Amsterdam, Netherlands
It's all cool and the cops you taunt in Amsterdam, Netherlands
Pot, Coke, Crack - as much as you please
You can have your heroin with Gouda cheese
Snort, smoke, shoot anything you want in Amsterdam, Netherlands

Have your sex anyway you can in Amsterdam, Netherlands
Girl - girl, guy - guy, sheep on man, in Amsterdam, Netherlands
Do your thing - you won't come to harm
It's San Francisco but with Old World charm
And prostitution is so grand in Amsterdam, Netherlands

Did you think we wear wooden shoes in Amsterdam Netherlands?
Then you must never watch the news 'bout Amsterdam, Netherlands.
Windmills? Tulips? They're all an act
And our dikes aren't there to hold the North Sea back
Come on in and we'll cure your blues in Amsterdam, Netherlands

I wanted to write a verse about the Dutch monarchy, but these is no rhyme for the House of "Orange" ;D

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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 5   4

User Comments

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Patrick - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I once watched a documentary about Holland "Sex, Drugs, and Democracy". Pot for sale in every bar. Women for sale in showrooms. Nude beaches. Parents taking their children to the Sex Museum. People of every race, color and creed all holding hands and singing "Kumbaya". Tolerance for everyone, including Muslims who would like to burn the whole place to the ground, if the ground were not so swampy. Then, near the end, an official being interviewed said "We don't allow guns here". I cried "Fascist Police State!". I guess everyone has his own definition of freedom. When it comes to smoke, I'll take cordite over cannibas.
Timmy1000 - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
You know what you're going to see when you get there; I guess not that many folks want to see what they have to offer. Nice parody on old Arlo song - I could never listen to whole 18 minutes either.
Fiddlegirl - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
OMR-- you do beat the Dutch! :) (security code is "555"-- hehe)
AFW - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Interesting tale..I've heard that about Nether, Netherland..
alvin - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
off to the airport...see ya there

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