Verse 1: Was at the mall
Some villain sold me
Sold me some jeggings
I was enthralled
I let the cool me
Cool me subvert me
Yeah, that was so foolish
To buy up all this apparel
Cause first time I wore them
Exposed my legs to peril

Chorus: On this day!
I slipped some jeggings on my knees with glee
And all day!
I had guys tellin’ me I look pretty
Shows curves I need, but yes they hurt
When I get home, I’m takin’ them off first
But today!
Seems these jeggings on my knees will stay

Verse 2: My legs are trapped!
And I don’t know how or when they’ll be rescued
The fabric’s tacked
It feels like I’m in a moist rubb’ry wet suit
I pull at the layers
I can feel nothing’s budged now
I’ve struck every posture
Even the legs up and butt out

Chorus: But today!
I have some jeggings attached to my knees
It’s insane!
They are constricting like a grown Burmese
Take it from me, choose better clothes
I can ensure your blood vessels won’t close
I’m in pain!
Now my legs know what it means to squeeze

Bridge: My ankles getting bigger
The swelling’s getting stronger
My legs just don’t, don’t deserve this Hell any longer
But jeggings look so great!
I’m here to tell you, pants shouldn’t hurt so bad
Cuz it’s only just a fad!

I want them off…
Please help me!

Chorus: By today!
I want these jeggings on my knees be free
I complain!
Just give some scissors or a scalpel please
Legging plus jeans, that equals hurt
So I’ll make sure next time I wear a skirt
Relieve strain!
And keep that fashion expertise from me