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Song Parodies -> "Crime Boss"
Original Song Title:
"Timebomb"
Original Performer:
Tove Lo
Parody Song Title:
"Crime Boss"
Parody Written by:
the_conqueror_of_parodies
The Lyrics
You kill it, you bought it.
I never had a real knack for leadin'
Always the type to just move along with the crowd
Stay behind in the line, I could be the least ambitious human being you've ever met
So I don't get how this could've happened, just the worst thing that could've happened
Have to believe that I never meant this
Me, knock out the head mafioso?
I'd never dare, wouldn't cross my mind to straight up whack him
I thought "That's the worst thing that could happen"
But the worst thing that could happen instead occurred right after
All of his henchman looked at the blood
My body stiffened, looked at their guns
One of them stepped in, I took a gulp
Knew that I would soon end up much flatter
But he handed me the dead mobster's hat and gun, it's insane
What's this Klingon crap? Clear that my intentions lack
I simply wandered into this club
Somehow I'm now a crime boss, boss, boss, boss
Boss, boss, boss, boss
Not just a member, I'm now on top
Somehow I'm now a crime boss
They wait for orders and I look back
The hordes of goons all want a plot
I wish I could tell 'em all that I'm no fan of crime
But I know that the next thing that would happen
The next worst thing that could happen after my whoopsie murder
All that I wanted was to get drunk
Threw empty bottles then sobered up
'Cause one had clobbered some Kingpin putz
And now I must rule his mob hereafter?
To speak candidly: I can't hack this, I don't have what it takes
I'd squeal to cops at the drop of my brand-new hat
I'm such a coward, I can't say "stop"
So now I'm a big crime boss, boss, boss, boss
Boss, boss, boss, boss
Weird-ass promotion I didn't want
But now I'm a big crime boss
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Think I'd be the worst boss ever
Oh, easily (know I'd be the worst boss ever)
Straight worst boss ever (I would be the worst boss ever, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Not clever (I'd just be the worst boss ever)
Oh, please (want to be beggin') shoot me (but I'm locked up)
Not best (super shite as a crime boss, boss, boss, boss)
Boss, boss, boss, boss
"Force dissolution"? Don't have the guts
How can I be a crime boss?
Always the type to just move along with the crowd
Stay behind in the line, I could be the least ambitious human being you've ever met
So I don't get how this could've happened, just the worst thing that could've happened
Have to believe that I never meant this
Me, knock out the head mafioso?
I'd never dare, wouldn't cross my mind to straight up whack him
I thought "That's the worst thing that could happen"
But the worst thing that could happen instead occurred right after
All of his henchman looked at the blood
My body stiffened, looked at their guns
One of them stepped in, I took a gulp
Knew that I would soon end up much flatter
But he handed me the dead mobster's hat and gun, it's insane
What's this Klingon crap? Clear that my intentions lack
I simply wandered into this club
Somehow I'm now a crime boss, boss, boss, boss
Boss, boss, boss, boss
Not just a member, I'm now on top
Somehow I'm now a crime boss
They wait for orders and I look back
The hordes of goons all want a plot
I wish I could tell 'em all that I'm no fan of crime
But I know that the next thing that would happen
The next worst thing that could happen after my whoopsie murder
All that I wanted was to get drunk
Threw empty bottles then sobered up
'Cause one had clobbered some Kingpin putz
And now I must rule his mob hereafter?
To speak candidly: I can't hack this, I don't have what it takes
I'd squeal to cops at the drop of my brand-new hat
I'm such a coward, I can't say "stop"
So now I'm a big crime boss, boss, boss, boss
Boss, boss, boss, boss
Weird-ass promotion I didn't want
But now I'm a big crime boss
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Think I'd be the worst boss ever
Oh, easily (know I'd be the worst boss ever)
Straight worst boss ever (I would be the worst boss ever, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Not clever (I'd just be the worst boss ever)
Oh, please (want to be beggin') shoot me (but I'm locked up)
Not best (super shite as a crime boss, boss, boss, boss)
Boss, boss, boss, boss
"Force dissolution"? Don't have the guts
How can I be a crime boss?
Now this would be one of the surprisingly tricky songs my parody yesterday would be about if I'd never heard it before. Didn't know songs could have run-on sentences before I heard this one.
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