My neighbors would be stunned if they knew what I've done
My love they'd forbid with this dame
When she's dressed up like a pharoah smackin' my butt with a fiddle
While a clown puts it all on tape
See, I'm a whipped, chained pervert rollin' in brown dirt
Somethin' 'bout me just ain't right
I'm a skin-pealin', loud squealin' bastard duct taped to the ceilin'
Findin' chicks to smash online

Cause I'm on Fetlife... And I'm lovin' it
Sure to make you hurl with this fetish I have
I'm on Fetlife... To suck a baseball mitt
You might think you're kinky but I'm way outta hand

I'm skilled at bathin' in chili
With my mouth I'll catch a frisbee
Modesty makes me roll my eyes
You'll heave, Misdeeds are hard to amaze me
Matin' in this Martha Brady desguise

Cause I'm on Fetlife... And I'm lovin' it
Sure to make heads whirl with this fetish I have
I'm on Fetlife... I'm huffin' your armpits
You might think you're kinky but I'm way outta hand

Snack on some grub! Turned on by chub!
Logged into Fetlife
Forget the club! We're in the shruuuuuuubs!
Logged into Fetlife
Wanna hook up? Might need a cup
Logged into Fetlife
Swing a golf club into my nuuuuuuubs!!!!

Balloon poppin', fish-floppin' gonna end up in a coffin
Strike your fife across my shins
Don't call me a whore coffee's poured into my drawers
Vanilla? You must be diiiiiiiim!

Awestruck 'em!

Cause I'm on Fetlife (Fetlife)... And I'm lovin' it
My lovelife is deranged, Man thong filled with pins
I'm on Fetlife (Fetlife)... Snug in a Gimp outfit
Don't freak out since we're sideshow freaks in this biz

We're on Fetlife (Fetlife)... And we're lovin' it
You don't need to buy pearls here to land you a lass
We're on Fetlife (Fetlife)... A bunch of sex misfits
You might think you're kinky but you're makin' us laugh

Come watch us hook up! You might throw up!
Logged into Fetlife