Dashing... at the Ball...
You're wowed... I'm quite the spectacle
The whole dang town has bust a ventricle
Scan the... screaming crowd
Since I'm the dame who is being crowned
Inside my brain this scene has played out....

You're pleadin', you're pleadin', you're pleadin' out loud
Said: "You look like a clown!"
Said: "Don't wear that, don't wear that, don't wear that gown"
"I think you lost your damn mind now!"
That color spread's... Awful, You dope
Those frills are weird... Like a lizard, That's gross
Said: "Don't wear that, don't wear that, don't wear that gown"
D-don't wear that gown!

Don't wear that gown
Dress makes me frown, frown, frown
Shade's a dirt brown, shade's a dirt brown, brown, brown

Such a... Fashion crime
With strange ink blots that are hard to hide
That scarf is so fugly when it's tied

I need one, I need one, I need one right now
Yeah, A dress to make me proud
But can't wear this, can't wear this, can't wear this gown
Because it's freakin' you all out
It's torn to shreds... Moths called it home
Folks are in fear... Since I look like a ghost
Can't wear this, can't wear this, can't wear this gown
C-can't wear this gown

Thrift Store has mounds
Of these cheap gown, gown, gowns
Tossed on the ground, ground, ground
Chewed on by hound, hound, hounds
Looks like I've drowned/ Looks like I've drowned, drowned, drowned

Ooh... This frock is so hard to find now, Damn (Damn!)
Ooh, I wish that these folks were blind now, Damn (Damn!)

Please weave me, please weave me, please weave me a gown
Please can you weave me a gown?
Said: "Don't wear that, don't wear that, don't wear that gown"
I think it's been splashed with wine now
Don't have the bread, buddy, I'm broke
To make friends cheer: This ball will be a roast
I... Can't wear this, can't wear this, can't wear this gown
Can't wear this gooooooooooown

It's... The worst in town
Worst... One that I found
Can't look profound, Oh no...
"Boo!" will be the sound
Heard in this gown

Don't wear that gown
Don't wear that gown, gown, gown