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Song Parodies -> "Lost Kinescope Rescue"

Original Song Title:

"Misty Island Rescue"

Original Performer:

Some kids

Parody Song Title:

"Lost Kinescope Rescue"

Parody Written by:

George&GermaineBriantFan

The Lyrics

Remember that 1951 episode of the game show “Beat the Clock” that featured 300 Boy Scouts? The one with the elephant and something about “terrific cheesecake”? Yes, that one. It kind of had a Western feel to it, honestly. I would tell you where you can buy it on DVD...except that I cannot, because there is no surviving kinescope. But in this song parody, we have a fictional family that is on the lookout for the kinescope of a broadcast with a Western feel to it. And what is a song that has a Western feel to it? “Misty Island Rescue” from Thomas & Friends. So join this fictional family and their search for the greatest moment in television history, regardless of whether they are successful or not.
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
With Boy Scouts all a-shouting,
This show, we need to find it,
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)

Let’s search in the attic, one by one,
(One by one!)
Then search in the basement, one by one,
(One by one!)
Then we’ll search in storage,
The rescue is in motion,
We’ll search through the country, one by one!
(One by one!)

300 Boy Scouts,
They’re on this kinescope,
All excited by “Roxanne”...
Don’t stop if we reach dead ends,
We’ll make some collector friends,
Today...
Help in every way! (Whoo!)

Talk about this broadcast every day!
(Every day!)
Look for this lost broadcast every day!
(Every day!)
If you have a copy,
Don’t treat it like a floppy,
Send us this lost broadcast right away!
(Right away!)

300 Boy Scouts,
They’re on this kinescope, (Whoo!)
All excited by “Roxanne”...
Don’t stop if we reach dead ends,
We’ll make some collector friends,
Today...
Help in every way! (Whoo!)

Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
With Boy Scouts all a-shouting,
This show, we need to find it...

Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!
(Here we go!!)
Lost kinescope rescue... (Whoo!)

...Here we go!!!

(Everyone cheering)
Lost kinescope rescue, here we go!

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

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Richard Glennan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
This is to add some extra information regarding the whereabouts of this “lost” show. I saw a recording of this episode at a friend’s house around 1998, and took notes of the show. The kinescope started about 15 seconds late and at least one commercial was cut out, but otherwise was mostly complete. Everything that you described in your entries, from the elephant stunt to the “cheesecake” line was extant. The friend who had this kinescope said that it came from the family of one of the Boy Scouts that appeared on the show. He explained that this was done for two other Scout member’s families, and he had seen one of them. I haven’t talked with this friend in several years, but last I heard he still had a copy of this program (this would have been around 2019). If you want me to see if I can make a transfer of this show, please let me know and I’ll see what can be done. Best regards, Rich Glennan.
George&GermaineBriantFan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
I almost fell out of my chair when I read this. YES! Please have a transfer of this show made ASAP, then upload it online. Do you realize what a holy grail your friend has? It’s likely the only known copy left in existence; a breakthrough like this is pretty much unprecedented. Please share with us some of your notes that you made of the recording. How have you never mentioned this online before? I’d like to know what other absurd lines were included or any other stunts that were done that night; I only know of two. You have a truly historic moment in your hands. I hope you do the right thing and share it with us all. Thank you!
Rich Glennan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
Okay, I will see if I can contact my friend this evening and see if he’s up to it. He found it, by the way, in the basement of his father-in-law, Paul Burtnett, who appeared on this show. He also said that Burtnett identified 12-year-old (not eleven) Frederick Shannon as the boy who said the “cheesecake” line. Paul is still alive at 86. There was at least one stunt that involved “Roxanne”, which involved a take on first dates. The 300 Scouts swarming the stage was preceded by a bugle call and has a brief shot of the audience. In honor of the show’s new timeslot, which started two weeks earlier, an award was presented by Paul Small, a jazz vocalist of the late 20s/early 30s. This broadcast occurred on March 24, 1951. To be honest, I had no idea that anyone else was looking for this program. If I had been aware of your interest in it, I would have contacted you earlier. I see you did a post on the Internet Archive explaining what info you had discovered about it, but I have no doubt you didn’t have access to anything beyond a basic Google search. If I am able to have a transfer of the show made, then I will determine how I put it online.
George&GermaineBriantFan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
Thank you. I don’t have the words to explain how grateful I am to you for doing all this. And the fact that you know one of the surviving Scouts from this show is even more amazing. Please have an interview with Paul Burtnett ASAP. Ask if he is aware of any other survivors. Or better yet, lead Paul to this website and we can all ask him our own questions, hopefully with him being able to answer them on his own. Tears are falling from my eyes, I can’t wait to see this program.
Asking for a friend - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
What were the names of the scouts that participated in stunts in the show? How did the cheesecake line go down? What happened to the other copies? Explain if Paul Burnett was an expert on this show.
Rich Glennan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
The Scouts that participated in the six stunts were: Albert Burtnett (Paul’s older brother), Russell Carlstrom, (1st stunt) Wilfred Stum, Robert Goode, (balloons & shoestrings) Danny McCarthy, Sam Pollack, Herbert Harley, (elephant), Sam Pollack, Phillip Olsen (4th stunt), Russ Carlstrom, Frederick Shannon, Walter Johnson (kissing Roxanne/giving flowers); and lastly, Wilfred Stum and Danny McCarthy (6th stunt). The “terrific cheesecake” line occurred during the fifth stunt, and not when Roxanne’s picture was taken at the very end. My friend was aware of at least two other copies of the show but only saw one of them. I assume both are already gone. And in a way, Paul was (and still is) an expert on the show. When his parents asked for a copy of the program, they requested a list of all the 300 Scouts that appeared on the show. Last I heard he still had it. I will send that to you as well, and make of it what you will.
Arch Vile - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
You “saw this show” from whom? Clarify something for us: exactly how did you get to witness a show that supposedly has been lost for nearly 75 years? If you were already aware of it in 1998, why didn’t you make a transfer then? And we’re supposed to believe that your friend’s father in law is an expert on this broadcast and has a list of every scout that attended the show? Lastly, where is the evidence that the “cheesecake” line (if it even happened) was said by a 12 year old, a jazz vocalist presented an award, or that the date you gave us is even correct?
Rich Glennan - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
So this evening I contacted my friend who showed me the episode 25 years ago. He says he still has the kinescope but it’s in his basement and he’s too busy to go through it right now, but his son is coming over tomorrow and is gonna try to locate it. When it’s found, he says that I can have it and make a transfer from it. I am not a liar. I witnessed this show with my own eyes and wrote down notes about it that only someone who could have witnessed the actual footage would know about. Furthermore, my friend’s father in law, Paul Burtnett, who is 86, not only attended the broadcast, but his brother (also a scout) participated in a stunt as well. He has a list of all 300 scouts that appeared on the show, which was distributed by the local Boy Scout troop in New York City. Paul’s parents asked for a copy of the program, which was a secondhand copy from the master kinescope recorded at CBS. At least two other parents of Boy Scouts requested copies as well (though they are missing). He still has his picture of “Roxanne” that was taken at the end of the show and distributed to the 300 scouts. I have talked with Paul several times about this and can bring him onto this website so you can hear from him himself. He knows about the Internet and can use it well, so don’t try to claim that he’s not gonna come on here and make his case. The date of this broadcast has been verified through at least a dozen letters of correspondence plus the kinescope recording, none of which have been posted online before. I watched the kinescope three times to determine as much info as I could from the broadcast, which led to eight pages of handwritten notes. The broadcast still exists and will be transferred as soon as it is located. I hope that once and for all this will dispute the show’s “lost” status.
AmIRight Voice of Reason - May 19, 2024 - Report this comment
Do we really have to go through this obsession all over again?
New information - July 07, 2024 - Report this comment
“Roxanne” from “Beat the Clock” died on May 2nd of this year. Edward Smith of New York died on 3/29/24 and I have him listed as the FINAL SURVIVING Boy Scout that appeared on this show. I cannot find any proof for the “Paul Burtnett” claim listed above (let alone any of the other above claims). If Paul is still alive, it would be a major discovery. In early 2023, four surviving Boy Scouts that appeared on this show were known to be living: Edward Smith, Wilbur Stum of Ithaca, NY (died 7/8/23), Stanley Alexander of Port Huron, MI (died (6/24/23), and Fred Shannon of Jupiter, NJ (died 3/20/23). In 2021, thirteen were known to still be living. Seven of those received proclamations in the mail that year, honoring their appearance on the “Beat the Clock” program. If this show still existed, it would be an absolutely colossal historical discovery.
Blaze the Cat - July 07, 2024 - Report this comment
Did we ever figure out an answer as to when any of this would be settled? I, for one would LOVE to see this broadcast restored. Here’s hoping it appears on YouTube soon.
Richard Glennan - July 07, 2024 - Report this comment
Everyone…I contacted my friend Matt Burtnett shortly after my last comment here (5/19/24). He said that he still has a kinescope of the show, and I asked if he could transfer it. He did, and he transferred the program a week later. I haven’t seen it yet but I hear it came out good. It was originally scheduled to be uploaded on 6/24, but sadly, his dad Paul Burtnett (the survivor mentioned above) died on 6/21. He is currently in the process of going through his stuff, which includes one of a kind documents from this show. It was a huge deal for the Boy Scout troop that appeared on this program and the adult staff was occupied with the aftermath of it for weeks. Once all of this is settled, he will post the program to the Internet Archive (NOT YouTube). I will share more news with you once the show is posted.
Patrick McWilliams - July 08, 2024 - Report this comment
He’s lying…Richard is a POS.
Phil Ossifer - July 08, 2024 - Report this comment
Please don’t fall for this. Richard is just trying to set everyone up for another rehash of the Boy Scouts/Roxanne/Briants BS. He’s claimed (twice, actually) that his friend has the last copy left of this show and is gonna post it online, but something happens that ends up postponing the supposed release of this broadcast. Not to mention the absurd claim that this friend has “top secret” information about the broadcast and the false “information” he provided in above comments. You know as well as I do that virtually no one cares about this stuff.
The Real Phil Ossifer - July 08, 2024 - Report this comment
^^^^^Wow, check out how busy the King of all Attention Whores has been. As of this morning, no one had bothered to comment on today’s entries, so he went into hyper-copy mode, as seen above. If you’ve read his current entry, not commenting is probably the nicest thing you could do. Must be a lot of really nice people out there : ). I’m still waiting for a cogent explanation as to how Alex Weibel doing an imitation of some has-been is such an egregious thing. It must be, because the Retards’ Paul Revere has warned us about it several times.
Rich Glennan - July 08, 2024 - Report this comment
I am not a liar. I am not giving y’all a false lead. This program exists in its entirety, and it will be posted on the Internet Archive on Monday, July 15th. Then everyone will see the importance of this broadcast and how truly funny it actually is. I can confirm that the 300 Boy Scouts all appeared at the end of the show, that the “terrific cheesecake” line was said, and that it aired on 3/24/51. I have screenshots that could only come from a kinescope recording of the broadcast, and I will share them within the next couple of days. The broadcast DOES exist…and we will finally get to see it get the recognition it deserves.
Agrimorfee - July 09, 2024 - Report this comment
TRPO, nobody else is commenting, so why don't you stop as well? You are part of the problem.
Richard Glennan - July 14, 2024 - Report this comment
Tomorrow, the entire complete 3/24/51 broadcast of “Beat the Clock” with 300 Boy Scouts will be posted onto the Internet Archive. People have claimed that the show doesn’t exist, but I have sawn the original kinescope three times in a row for research. It will finally be revealed tomorrow and then everyone will see what an incredibly great broadcast this was. The show will also be a revelation for game show researchers as many previously undocumented information about this broadcast will be shared online in the coming days. Notice how in the obituaries for “Roxanne” in NATIONAL NEWSPAPERS, they failed to even mention this broadcast, which proves how stupid the media is. Anyway, this broadcast will be showed to the entire world tomorrow evening and once and for all the debates surrounding this broadcast will finally be settled. You don’t want to miss out on this one!

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