[FRIDA] Uh! High school! Driver's Ed!
[RUBY] One-Eyed Ruby!
[FRIDA] And her sister, Frida!
[RUBY] Teaching people about driving and stuff.
[FRIDA] Yeah, we're getting extra credit for this one.
[RUBY] Let's jump into my bomb-diggity car and do this, baby!

[FRIDA] First, make sure that you buckle up your seatbelt,
'Cause if you don't, and get in a wreck, you could be killed.
Your body will be in pieces and look all icky.
Your blood will be all over the place and it'll be real sticky.

[RUBY] If a cop pulls you over for speeding,
Just start p-p-peeing for the time being.
He'll think you're insane, and he'll run away,
Or he'll give you a ticket anyway and make your mom pay!

[RUBY & FRIDA] If you pass your test, you're gonna drive a car!
You can drive it around town like a superstar!
We could go to the waterpark or laser tag.
We can drive with no hands, but we ain't gonna brag!
If you pass the test, your gonna drive a car!
If you have a lotta gas, you can go real far!
To the gym your work out on your pecs,
So all the gentlemen can give you a whole lotta sex!

[RUBY] I went to Baltimore, and some muggers tried to jack me.
They pulled out a gun, and then they tried to cap me.
You should always carry a weapon in your car,
Like an ax, a chainsaw, a gun, or a mortar.

[FRIDA] I once sent a guy I know boobie shots.
He liked it a lot, and then he hit a mailbox.
He drove off the road looking at my breasts,
And that's how he failed his first driving test.

[RUBY & FRIDA] If you pass your test, you're gonna drive a car!
You can drive it around town like a superstar!
We could go to the waterpark or laser tag.
We can drive with no hands, but we ain't gonna brag!
If you pass the test, your gonna drive a car!
If you have a lotta gas, you can go real far!
To the gym your work out on your pecs,
So all the gentlemen can give you a whole lotta sex!

[FAINA] Don't you ever freaking try to ghost-ride your whip,
'Cause you just might trip, yeah, and have a nip-slip.
You'll flip on your hip, bite the tip of your lip,
Just take a road trip and skinny-dip on a cruise ship.

[FRIDA] Always look both ways when you cross the street,
Unless you really wanna get run over and beat (by a car)!
It'll drag you're body far and make your face look ugly.
Then, everyone will hate you, just like Huggy Wuggy!

[RUBY] So that's how you drive an automobile,
That's all you need to know, so just grab the wheel.
Quit being an idiot loser driven by your mom.
[FAINA, RUBY, & FRIDA] Because driving yourself is the bomb!
Driver's ed, bitch!