You're so slow when I am ready to leave, You're not
It takes you awhile to dress every time
You don't care that it bothers me that
I'm waiting half my life
For my dang wife

You drive me insane
And every hubby out there knows my pain
I see you're looking for your car keys right now
Thus leaving our home takes too long
Way, way too long!

Dealt with this crap while we were dating
I heard you shouting out:
"Where is the damn location?!
I checked twelve different places!
Can't find my keys!"
Some things won't change... although we do...

Might miss our show at the theater
Getting ready is a grind
Heard you yelling: "Please don't rush me!"
You just want to take your time

Dragging me out to the ballet
"Gotta hurry! Learn to drive!"
"I was prepared to depart
While you went and took your time!"

You're so slow when it's time to go
You're searching through your clothes and ignored my advice
"Go and pick out your wardrobe"
You wanna gussy up
But it drives me nuts!

And that's why it takes your friends forever to come over here
When they bring along their dudes, They roll their eyes
Because their crush... couldn't pick out a thong...
Waited way too long... No chance that they'd ready as well

"During my single life
Getting around was swell
Could of left my place
In minutes, Dear"
I see you snear
"You jerk! Just go there alone!"

Shut my mouth since she's a demon
Hurried up she's never kind
She'll stomp out the door and shove me
She just wants to take her time

So I'm forced to wait an hour
Though I'm all set to go dine
She'll explode and I will cower
If she cannot take her time

Whoa....
I just wanna leave my home quite soon

Whoa...
Since I want a thick t-bone to chew

Always comes up with some reason
"Being late is not a crime
Let me sip this cup of coffee
Never let me take my time"

"Gotta go and walk my poor pup
Or a puddle you will find"
Tracked her lateness on this chart
She just wants to waste my time

No, I don't want to be too hasty
When we car pool my boss whines
"Don't you know what time work starts?
My wife wants to take her time"

Noooooo... Oh, oh, oh...