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Song Parodies -> "PATSYs"

Original Song Title:

"Starships"

Original Performer:

Nicki Minaj

Parody Song Title:

"PATSYs"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This is another difficult aviation parody in which I need to condense 3 aircraft histories into one text and write off the top of my head quickly. Basically, in 1939 the Japanese wanted to build an aircraft with enough range for a goodwill flight from Tokyo to NY. This was the Asahi A-26- goal: range of 9321 miles by 1940. Not met, so with war looming the aircraft project was turned into the military Tachikawa Ki-77. Two prototypes were built with laminar wings from the University of Tokyo Aeronautical Research Institute and two1170 hp Nakajima Ha-115s. No real pressure cabin so a sealed oxygen chamber was substituted with the pilots still having to rely on masks for the flights. In July 1944 a single Ki-77 set an unofficial world record for non-stop flight at 10,212 miles via circuit (19x 537.5 miles each) in 57 hr 12 min. Running concurrently in development was a bomber version Ki-74 that had a pressurized cabin, speed of 363 mph at height, ceiling of 40,000 ft, and range with bombload of 5000 miles. It would carry 1x 12.7mm MG for defense and have a bombload of 4400 lbs. Designed to strike US targets, it's first mission was to hit B-29 bases in the region. Only 16 were manufactured by the time the war ended and they sat on the ground. The US made the mistake of believing this anticipated threat was a fighter and so codenamed it PAT. But with ground inspection as bomber, it was re-designated PATSY. The Ki-74 was also dubbed the "Jap 17" due to its resemblence to the B-17, especially the rear fuselage with tail rudder.
Tokyo-New York, of course
Non-stop all the way
A-26, didn’t have the range
Made a switch, quick, stratospheric flight
New designation, and military might
Tachikawa on, prototype 1
Moving on, built a second one
In ’44, time to take a trip
Flew 10,000 miles non-stop, a record hit

Japs wanted more, more
Bombing distance
Due to the war, war, with new demands
Ki-74
It was more advanced
Due to the war, war
In production

PATSYs were meant to fight
Bulked up, to fill the sky
Bombs to drop, from ceiling high
… didn’t quite make it on time!

PATSYs were meant to fight
Bulked up, to fill the sky
To attack B-29s (on the ground)
War stopped...

(Jap 17 was a little wonder)
(Jap 17 was a little wonder)
(Jap 17 was a little wonder)

Two radial Ha-104s
Made it fast
And pressurized cabin for height
It had that
Bomb bay up front, and defense was light
That was alright, it could climb high

5000 miles- took it far

Slow-downs made it miss days, days, days
Due to US bombing raids, raids, raids
There was a great need, was a pity
No operations, so they mostly sat empty!

Japs wanted more, more
Bombing distance
Due to the war, war, with new demands
Ki-74

PATSYs were meant to fight
Bulked up, to fill the sky
Bombs to drop, from ceiling high
… didn’t quite make it on time!

PATSYs were meant to fight
Bulked up, to fill the sky
To attack B-29s (on the ground)
War stopped...

(Jap 17 was a little wonder)
(Jap 17 was a little wonder)
(Jap 17 was a little wonder)

PATSYs were meant to fight
Bulked up, to fill the sky
Bombs to drop, from ceiling high
… didn’t quite make it on time!

PATSYs were meant to fight
Bulked up, to fill the sky
To attack B-29s (on the ground)
War stopped...

(Jap 17 was a little wonder)
(Jap 17 was a little wonder)
(Jap 17 was a little wonder)

All surrendered…
Ki-77:
http://www.ww2aircraft.net/forum/attachments/aircraft-pictures/166936d1304928236t-frustated-projects-tachikawa-ki-77-002.jpg
Ki-74:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Ki-74-1s.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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