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Song Parodies -> "The Flash vs. Flash Gordon"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"The Flash vs. Flash Gordon"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I'm glad I waited for the Flash movie to come out before finishing this. That said, this will work a lot better if you know Barry Allen's story in the comics. Sadly, most people today only know Flash Gordon from his 1980 film.
Epic Rap Battles of History!

The Flash!

vs….

Flash Gordon!

Begin!

(Barry Allen)
I’ve got the powers:
Super-speed and super-rhyme.
Your spaceship’s faster than light?
I can outrun time!
I’m a police scientist.
I’m the inspiration
for NCIS’ Abby
and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation!
I got my speed from
a lightning bolt in my lab.
Does that make you angry, Buster?
Well, don't be a Crabbe!
I don’t need to rap fast
but I’ll give you an unforgiving minute.
Freddy Mercury sang your movie’s theme
and he was the least campy thing in it!

(Flash Gordon)
Like Batman and Iron Man
I'm a rich Playboy, you know
I took a ride on my spaceship
with your Westward Ho!
Iris said you’re
too fast in the bedroom
And she got killed by your nemesis:
He rendered her dead, Zoom!
I was a world-famous hero
even before Jay Garrick.
While you’re uglier than the
Elephant Man, Joseph Merrick!
You think you can beat me
With your red tights and fastness?
You’re more like a crisis
on infinite wackness!

(Allen)
You’re so old I can hear
your arteries harden.
You’re over the hill
but can’t get over Dale Arden!
I’ve got a cooler Hawkman
in my Justice League.
You’re the worst military leader
since Commander Queeg!
This battle is over.
You know you’ve lost
And I didn’t need help
from Vibe or Frost!
Be better than Ezra?
No, you can’t, you lout.
Just Grant me my victory
and I’ll Shipp out!

(Gordon)
You’re as good as dead.
I’ve got the situation Monitored.
You said it yourself:
You’re the Justice League’s janitor!
You’re creepier than your Rogues Gallery
with the kids you groom.
I defeated Ming the Merciless!
Made his fleet go boom!
You dropped some Kryptonians
but you can’t drop a verse.
Each one’s like your time-fixes:
You’re making things worse!
Like your movie that tanked
this battle is done.
Here come the debt collectors.
Run, Barry. Run!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!

Epic...

(Whoosh!)

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.4
How Funny: 1.4
Overall Rating: 1.4

Total Votes: 43

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   39
 39
 39
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - August 25, 2023 - Report this comment
A Mandolorian, huh? As Leonidas told Master Chief in an early ERB, I'd look you in the eyes, but you're too much of a b**** to show me your face!

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