It's 2024 which means everyone's gotta be too darn woke
Don't worry, I got a way to fix it.

Feel like things don't work the way you want these days?
Feel like you're losing cool no matter what you need to say?
There's a way to bypass every word and not look mad.
Just say these two words and don't make everyone sad.

You are pretty from away, no offence.
You love roll-on scented steaks, no offence.
Your dad insists that I should flee, no offence.
You have crossed the line for free, no offence.

See? I said these unhinged things but I am in the clear
So go ahead and build some words you need to write, dear.
No consequences, no apologies, you're totally cool.
Apparently fake euphemisms don't turn you to a fool.

I hope you get to smell your farts, no offence.
So that your eyes can't see the stars, no offence.
Your tongue looks exactly like I thought, no offence.
I hope Times New Roman gets on your book, no offence.

I'm so happy we have this new phrase
To make us all to not spread hate.
Cause there are some people that are solely offensive
While they search ways of how to act defensive.

Seriously... People need ways to be sane about everything happen in this little blue dot.
When the next words are offensive... get ready.

Breaking the guidelines isn't okay, no offence.
No fake pronouns, we know you are gay, no offence.
Men should not claim they are trans, no offence.
Being problematic gives you a zero chance, no offence.

See? I told you... So offensive.
Everybody, get defensive.
Oh, just kidding. You can't bitch about it cause I said 'no offence'..

No offence.