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Song Parodies -> "I Used To Have An Arse Like That..."
Original Song Title:
"The Walk"
Original Performer:
Mayer Hawthorne
Parody Song Title:
"I Used To Have An Arse Like That..."
Parody Written by:
hec
The Lyrics
The title is from a movie scene as an elderly song-and-dance man watches Dyan Cannon in a bikini, and echoes the disconnect between the girl in the original song and the sorry sight in my mirror.
[So long, you don't belong]
[So long, you don't belong]
1] Body in the lookin' glass,
You're tickin' me off!
'Cause you make my life laborious
And you shake when I cough;
Anywhere you squeeze it,
It squeezes all wrong:
My poor lungs have started wheezin'
When they once were so strong!
Got a bellyfull of blubber in my hand now,
And I've worn it [just] as long as I can stand now...
R1) It's time to work this spare tire buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
It's time to work this spare tire buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
2] From my faint and fickle teen years,
I thought I'd stay small [what gall]
But that stupid sneaky cellulite
It didn't listen at all!
My poor fella tells me:
"Uh- you look okay, dear" [oh dear!]
Tell the shorts that start to cuss at me
Every time I come near!
And as much as it hurts my legs to dance now
Hurts me less than to buy these giant pants now
R2) It's time to work these tree trunks buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
It's time to work these tree trunks buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
B} I know why why why why I'd keep expanding by the day
I know I I I I can't maintain a happy bathroom scale this way...*
3] I been shleppin' this around but
Enough is enough!
Can't let a shape like a 'tater sack
Slam my casket lid shut:
Gettin' tired of the coronary strain now
And I can't face an EKG again now
R3) It's time to work this heart risk buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
It's time to work this heart risk buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong] [So long, you don't belong]
[So long, you don't belong]
1] Body in the lookin' glass,
You're tickin' me off!
'Cause you make my life laborious
And you shake when I cough;
Anywhere you squeeze it,
It squeezes all wrong:
My poor lungs have started wheezin'
When they once were so strong!
Got a bellyfull of blubber in my hand now,
And I've worn it [just] as long as I can stand now...
R1) It's time to work this spare tire buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
It's time to work this spare tire buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
2] From my faint and fickle teen years,
I thought I'd stay small [what gall]
But that stupid sneaky cellulite
It didn't listen at all!
My poor fella tells me:
"Uh- you look okay, dear" [oh dear!]
Tell the shorts that start to cuss at me
Every time I come near!
And as much as it hurts my legs to dance now
Hurts me less than to buy these giant pants now
R2) It's time to work these tree trunks buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
It's time to work these tree trunks buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
B} I know why why why why I'd keep expanding by the day
I know I I I I can't maintain a happy bathroom scale this way...*
3] I been shleppin' this around but
Enough is enough!
Can't let a shape like a 'tater sack
Slam my casket lid shut:
Gettin' tired of the coronary strain now
And I can't face an EKG again now
R3) It's time to work this heart risk buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong]
It's time to work this heart risk buddy right out of my life
[So long, you don't belong] [So long, you don't belong]
* This line could also read: "I know I I I I can't maintain a healthy BMI this way..."
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