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Song Parodies -> "Ted Cruz Fumk"

Original Song Title:

"Uptown Funk"

Original Performer:

Mark Ronson (f/Bruno Mars)

Parody Song Title:

"Ted Cruz Fumk"

Parody Written by:

Chris Wolvie

The Lyrics

Well,....can't say that the last parody I did didn't cause controversy. One would think all that negativity would take me OFF of political parodies. Well,...think again! As long as Democrats make asses of themselves and Republicans refuse to forget THEIR shortcomings, I'll find SOMETHING! Like the first 2016 candidate, Ted Cruz. Perhaps to get the youth of America to back him, he shouldn't have forced students to attend a speech...but, rather, sang THIS song! Share and Enjoy (or don't; up to you)!
I'm it, the first one
I'm the first to jump the gun
This one's for GOP
Them old boys, straight politics
Texas, nexus
Our last two Prezes came from it
Served Dubya's USJD
Gotta kiss myself 'cause I loved it

I'm right wing (red state)
Call that Rand Paul and call John McCain
I'm right wing (red state)
Gonna get the country back to the sane
I'm right wing (red state)
That Paul Sadler knows who I am
I'm right wing (red state)
Am I mad 'bout Obama, break it down

Repub's hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Repub's hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Repub's hit your hallelujah (whoo)
'Cause Ted Cruz funk gon' give it to you
'Cause Ted Cruz funk gon' give it to you
'Cause Ted Cruz funk gon' give it to you
Election night, I'll be in White House
Don't believe me just watch (come on)

Don't believe me just watch uh

(Rand Paul: I don't believe you) Just watch!
(Joe Biden: I don't believe you) Just watch!
(Mark Everson: I don't believe you) Just watch!
(Hillary Clinton: I don't believe you) Just watch!
Hey, hey, hey, oh!

Stop...wait a minute!
Fill my cup, put some oil in it
Take a sip, draw a gun
C'mon, Jeb, you'll be next
Ride to Austin, D.C.
Calg'ry up in Alberta
If we don't win, it's such a sin
"Merca" will not get much betta

I'm right wing (red state)
Gonna take down ISIS and Iran
I'm right wing (red state)
Get the Keystone pipeline out of the can
I'm right wing (red state)
I'm Pro-life and pro-Israel
I'm right wing (red state)
And I will kill Obamacare, tear it down

Repub's hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Repub's hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Repub's hit your hallelujah (whoo)
'Cause Ted Cruz funk gon' give it to you
'Cause Ted Cruz funk gon' give it to you
'Cause Ted Cruz funk gon' give it to you
Election night, I'll be in White House
Don't believe me just watch (come on)

Don't believe me just watch uh

(Rand Paul: I don't believe you) Just watch!
(Joe Biden: I don't believe you) Just watch!
(Mark Everson: I don't believe you) Just watch!
(Hillary Clinton: I don't believe you) Just watch!
Hey, hey, hey, oh

My fellow Americans
Let me tell all of you a little something:

Ted Cruz funk you up
Ted Cruz funk you up
Ted Cruz funk you up
Ted Cruz funk you up
I said Ted Cruz funk you up
Ted Cruz funk you up
Ted Cruz funk you up
Ted Cruz funk you up

Come on, text, I'm winning
So what if I'm Canad'an
If you're 'Publican then own it
Don't talk of change, just show it

Come on, text, don't fight it
Praise Citizens United
And on Election night, I'll be in White House
Don't believe me just watch! (come on!)

Don't believe me just watch uh

(Rand Paul: I don't believe you) Just watch!
(Joe Biden: I don't believe you) Just watch!
(Mark Everson: I don't believe you) Just watch!
(Hillary Clinton: I don't believe you) Just watch!
Hey, hey, hey, oh

Ted Cruz funk you up
Ted Cruz funk you up (say what?)
Ted Cruz funk you up
Ted Cruz funk you up

(REPEAT WITH CRUZ SAYING IN FOREGROUND:)
Text "Constitution" to this number even though I said I'd respect your privacy! Hey, it's politics! It don't have to make sense! I have a PAC, a SuperPAC and a Super-DuperPAC to help pay off ex-Obamacare patients! Don't you dare make any deals, Iran; they won't last! Thank you and God bless the United States of America...oh, and Canada, too, eh?
Text "I don't give a flyin' funk about politics" to...well, to EVERYWHERE! And, yes, against my better judgment, I *am* still allowing comments so...if you wanna funk me up, *shrugs*...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.5
How Funny: 1.5
Overall Rating: 1.5

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   9
 9
 9
 
 2   2
 2
 2
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Politico - April 03, 2015 - Report this comment
What the fumk are you talking about? 😝

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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