Saturday evening down at your house
Watching Marvel movies
Looked in your eyes, that’s when I thought
It would be so groovy

If we could be more than just friends
But there’s just one problem
‘Cause I know I’m straight, and you are a man
Yeah

If you were a woman I could bang you all night
Oh yes, oh yes, is what I would say
But that is never gonna happen till the day that I die
And I know why, it’s cause I am not gay

Why’d you have to be a dude?
God should have put tits on you
Why’d you have to be a dude
‘Cause I would have married you any day
If you were a girl, married you any day
But I cannot, because I am not gay
If you were a girl, we’d be a family
Why’d you have to be a dude?

You’re my best buddy, but there’s no way
We could be lovers
‘Cause I am straight and we are both boys
There won’t be an altar

No we won’t run away
To another galaxy, you know
You would be the one for me
If you didn’t have a dick, oh no

If you were a woman I could bang you all night
Oh yes, oh yes, is what I would say
But that is never gonna happen till the day that I die
Tough luck for me, it’s cause I’m not that way

Why’d you have to be a dude?
God should have put tits on you
Why’d you have to be a dude
‘Cause I would have married you any day
If you were a girl, married you any day
But I cannot, because I am not gay
If you were a girl, we’d be a family
Why’d you have to be a dude?

If you were someone’s daughter I could bang you all night
Oh yes, oh yes, is what I would say
But that is never gonna happen till the day that I die
And I know why, it’s cause I’m still not gay

Why’d you have to be a dude?
God should have put tits on you
Why’d you have to be a dude
‘Cause I would have married you any day
If you were a girl, married you any day
But I cannot, because I am not gay
If you were a girl, we’d be a family
Why’d you have to be a dude?

Why’d you have to be a dude?