Arrgh! It brings the gall out of me
The news are making me act up
I wish most anchors would shut up

Bah! I'll mock on them in my tweets
With comments on their daily cuckups
That every panel should go tits up

It started out with a quip
Somewhat punny and versed
Then I started to flip
Now I'm up at my worst

Called them appalling
But I didn't just text, a
Rage ranting felt a-called for
SO IN ALL-IN ALL CAPS I WROTE
"OH GOD, WHY-WHY-WHY YOUR CRAPPY NEWS?"
I didn't hang up, I
Rage ranted all of my stress
Had a nose bleed maybe I guess
Oh God! Why-Why-Why'd I hit the booze
I should have just called it

When fake news aren't pulled
It's always making me black out
I'll make a face and scream out

It started out with a drip
Somewhat funny on X
Then I started to rip
I got angry and vexed

At first just brawling
But I didn't just brawl, a
Rage ranting felt a-called for
So I went and kicked down the door
Oh God! Let me blame that on the Jews!
I didn't just break in
Rage ranted into excess
Blew a fre'king aneurysm
Oh God! I-I must have blown a fuse
I didn't just fall, I
Face planted

I didn't just fall, I'm
Click-baited
I'm top of the news, ay

Clickbait Me's down on their floor
And in LIVE REPORTING they soared
"HOT NEWS! WE'RE ATTACKED BY CRAZY DUDE!"

I didn't just kick it
Was graced by freedom of press
For some fifteen minutes or less
Oh God! I-I-I became the news!
I didn't just fall, I
Face planted
It was my own fault, for
Rage ranting!