I keep on changing my mind,
Now I'm not marrying Jeffré.
'Cause I'm still traumatized,
From my last marriage.
Too much makeup on my face,
I look like a drag queen.
I'll never get pregnant,
'Cause I am still a virgin.

Think you should know,
My voice sounds just like Elmo.
I'm getting old,
I am the most irrelevant Jackson, oh.
Think I can sing,
But this song is autotuned.
I can't dance, no.
I'm going to laugh now,
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

Tickle me!

I-I-I-I have a pet,
And I named it Prince 'cause he's a spoiled brat.
But since you are here,
I just want you to keep listening to this awful song.
You know that turns me on.

Think you should know,
That my life is too simple.
Don't deserve, my own show,
And plus my plastic surgery is terrible.
Think I'm so good,
Crappy version of Michael.
Getting worse, oh.
My career is dead now,
Someone please help me.

Don't put me out,
'Cause that be cold.
I am an overly sensitive little girl.

(Spoken) Now I want everybody in every country, to give up and stop rejecting me!

All the gay guys to the left,
All the ladies to the right.
All the straight guys who were forced,
To come out tonight. (Repeat stanza 4x)