You stand there angry, arms crossed- I ask “What’s wrong?”
“I’m leaving, you’ve gone crazy! I’ll be staying with my mom!”
I sit here watching my TV, while my girl runs far...
I think she’s just jealous, ‘cause my true love comes in a jar

This jar of Applesauce, my sauce, my sauce
I love this Applesauce, ‘cause
Love this Applesauce, ‘cause she won’t leave
I can stay here and watch TV
Applesauce, my sauce, my sauce

No need to see anyone’s mom (I think it’s true love)
I’ll play Halo until dawn, dawn (and play real loud!)
I’ll stay out late and get drunk (maybe I’ll fall down)
And there she’ll be, full of love (then we’ll make out!)

(Applesauce queen was made for me)
There is no doubt
(She won’t mind when I’m out ‘til three)
Go out drinking with my buds, buds
(Ex-girlfriend Elle, get up and leave)
Then she stormed out
(“You love a jar, you’re so crazy!”)
She’s just jealous of our love, love

We will go to the movies or walk down the street
Then maybe to a restaurant, pay for only one to eat
On weekends, it is game night, she’ll watch with my friends and me
When they leave, we’re alone now...and I’m feeling quite randy

I love you Applesauce, my sauce, my sauce
I love my Applesauce, ‘cause
Love my Applesauce, ‘cause she loves me
Drink so much beer, won’t hear a peep
Applesauce, my sauce, my sauce

Never makes me go and run (I’d rather stay home)
Or go shopping for a rug, rug (I like this one!)
Never complains ‘bout my porn (the Japanese one)
Or makes me go clean the tub, tub (Won’t rinse it out)

(NFL games on the big screen)
Not a rebound!
(She just sits there and smiles at me)
And she gives me the best hugs, hugs
(She’s just so soft, we get mushy)
When we make out
(More people, though, think I’m crazy)
They hate on us and our love, love

Ooh-ooh
Love, love
Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Love, love, wow!

Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo
Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo
Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo
Ooh-ooh

I love my Applesauce, my sauce, my sauce
I love my Applesauce, ‘cause
Love my Applesauce, ‘cause she gets me
I bought a ring, please marry me!
Applesauce, my sauce, my love...

I’m standing here in my tux (I feel like I’ve won)
Her dress smells like cinnamon, mon (made my folks proud!)
And in nine months, have a son (Half Applesauce spawn)
My eyes well up, name him Mott, Mott (love you, no doubt!)

(Everyone thinks I’ve gone crazy)
I made a vow
(Can’t they accept I’m just happy?)
Her Granny Smith thinks we rushed! (but my mom’s proud!)
(Man and his jar living the dream)
But there’s no doubt
(With our half man, half jar fam’ly)
Love Applesauce to the core, core

Crazy in love, maybe!