Song Parodies -> "Chafe And Diarrhea"

Original Song Title:

"Chasing Euphoria"

Original Performer:

Kimball & Jamison

Parody Song Title:

"Chafe And Diarrhea"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

The Western States 100-Mile Endurance Run is the Super Bowl of Ultra Running, starting in Squaw Valley (this upcoming weekend) near the site of the 1960 Winter Olympics and ending in Auburn, California (for the winner, nowadays, after about 15 hours of running). It's not televised, but sites like www.irunfar.com usually provides a link to a Twitter feed where one can keep up with the unfolding drama. Anyway, that said, I'm posting a parody about the perils of running today. You're not really a full-fledged runner until you've done #2 behind a fir tree in the forest (or a park, or a back alley, or one of your neighbours' garden sheds) and you're not a real Amiright parodist until you've posted at least one set of lyrics in really, really, really bad taste. BTW - You're welcome!

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.

Now I will fade towards last
The leaders ran off too fast
My race is squat in a hole

I'd rather be shitting bricks
I need a quick knickers fix
I'm forced to let the stomach blow

Twentyone miles on burritos
I plop down and swipe the bib midway

Chased by diarrhea
Chased by diarrhea
I'll never curb it
Might run there and blurb it
Chased by diarrhea
Chased by...
Chased by diarrhea

I know for jog amateurs
Crazy shit will occur
I should pre-purify with plungers

I squeeze my glutes, I suppress
That adds some chafe to the mess
As miles go by I get dumber

Hurt inside, steps like a dancer
Breaks the chase pack with a fart

Chased by diarrhea
Chased by diarrhea
Came here to compete
Now most get off main street
Chased by diarrhea

Chafe and diarrhea
Chafe and diarrhea
There's blood in my soles
And I'm fudging my goals
Chafe and diarrhea
Chafe an'...
Chafe an'...
Chafe an'...
Chafe an'...
Chafe and diarrhea

A mess - Is running down my calfes
A flop - Is this accursed race
A hamper - Is coming from behind
A booth - Is what I've long beseeched

I kneeled - My dignity was blurred
I caved - Behind a garden hutch
I graced - A shrubbery with grass
I won't - Be going home with much

Chased by diarrhea
Chased by diarrhea
I was an athlete
Now I'm on a back street
Chased by diarrhea

Chafe and diarrhea
Chafe and diarrhea
There's goo on my legs
And my shoes' full of dregs
Chafe and diarrhea
Chafe an'...
Chafe an'...
Chafe an'...
Diarrhea

Chafe and diarrhea
I started shortlisted
But nature'd me fisted
Chafe and diarrhea

Chafe and diarrhea
Chafe and diarrhea
My butt cheeks will flap
As my race turns to crap
Chafe and diarrhea
Chafe an'...
Chafe an'...
Chafe an'...
Chafe an'...

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Matthias - June 24, 2016 - Report this comment

Not a big fan of poop jokes but this one was pretty fun and I was really curious what the OS was going to be like since I never heard it before and we have similar taste in music and I need to tell you it's a kick ass song so I see why you wanted to spoof it. I kind of want to as well. Also great title sub

Rob Arndt - June 24, 2016 - Report this comment

Making the best of a sh-tty situation - 555!

Peter Andersson - June 24, 2016 - Report this comment

There's an element of self-experience behind this song (two actually, though I haven't actually experienced chafe and diarrhea at the same time) and the original is one I use for actual jogging so the parody idea came to me while out doing just that. With a BMP suited for 154 Steps Per Minute it's a good fit for early warm-ups or late cool-downs, y'all try it out yourself sometime, now that I've made such amazing PR for the sport! ;-P

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