Hello
Would you like to hire me?
You can look right though my work
I think you will like it…
You know why?
Cause I emboss!

Uh uh... pick the Pantone...
Uh uh... pick the Pantone...
Uh uh... pick the Pantone...
Uh uh... pick the Pantone...

Emboss it!
Magenta, yellow, cyan and black
Working every night until one
That's right, stationery isn’t that hard
And that's right, I'm the one that's picking out the font

Emboss it!
Comic Sans I sure do hate
Can’t work quick, won’t turn out great
That invite type should have class and taste
Give that type a little raise, so emboss it!

Ooh, don’t use those effects, don’t use that inner glow (inner glow)
No I won’t, don’t use that drop shadow (drop shadow)
Book layouts have the right flow (the right flow, have the perfect flow)
Ooh, they call me such an Adobe pro (don’t frown)
Rock that duotone
Making cool outlines with the pen tool, I’m no fool
Ooh, got my sketchbook out with colored pencils
I scan in all my drawings, it’s no problem
It’s looking awesome
Kerning needs adjusting, but the headline’s missing something

Never use a template, always use the grid
Never use a template, always use the grid

Emboss it!
It looks great when I add clipping masks
So psyched when I show you my comp
That's right, I chose to use that Avant Garde
And that's right, I got “Type Nerd” tattooed on my arm

Emboss it!
That headline should have more weight
Switch from black to 80 grey
Something is missing, headline should be great
Give that type a little raise, so emboss it!

Ooh, (now what? now what?)
So you want me to make you a rad brochure? (rad brochure)
Let me do some sketching while I brainstorm (I’ll brainstorm)
Then you ask for it free, send you out the door (out the door)
Ooh, I'm thinking, dream of layouts, it’s not working
Then I ask, “change the format?”
Chose my work over my wife, cause I love to design!
Ooh, got the Nike logo up on my arm
Right next to the Apple logo, cause they’re well done
Fix every problem
Gonna keep you wond’rin why the headline’s always bumpy

Nothings out of place, I always use the grid
Nothings out of place, I always use the grid

Emboss it!
Use four zero’s, you’re bound to get black
Named my first kid Lorem Ipsum
That's right, I made that new sign in your yard
No big deal, got it done...wasn’t even that hard

Emboss it!
PNG, don’t use JPEG
Photoshop pics for my dates
On wedding invites, names should stand out great
Give that type a little raise, so emboss it!

Not 'bout making things look pretty
Got a message? I’ll say it real clearly
Eyeballs, won’t hurt 'em
I will not use full black, your eyes strainin’
I’ll make it stand out, I’ll dull the background
It’s contrast girl, I’ll take the scale down
You want a poster huh?
I’ll make the coolest one
In fact, it's InDesign, you cannot go wrong (swatch!)
Menu’s open, pick a swatch
Add some noise, it looks grand, and I should know, miss!
And if you don’t understand, it’s your loss, miss!
Got clients in demand, 'cause I’ve got it!
Won’t need refund, you’re happy you paid
Thanks to this, you’ll get biz, isn’t that great?
Awesome! You ask "How much it cost me?"
You can’t put a price on this kind of embossin’

Emboss it!
Yes I made up the side of that truck
I drew up the brand new store front
That's right, I made all those signs in your yard
And that's right, I make all my own rad Christmas cards

Emboss it!
Come to me, it turns out great
Won’t get sad when type adds weight
Invites look stunning on your wedding day
Give that type a little raise, so emboss it!

Uh uh... pick the Pantone...
Uh uh... pick the Pantone...
(fade out)